Category: Uncategorized

What the spider-monkey-style sex is happening, all my fellow lovemakers who’ve raised up into a semi-squat during a doggorific pounding, and been abruptly seized by vicious hamstring cramps and curled into a fetal position while voicing pained gasps and crying for a doctor?  This is just an afternoon reminder to grab yerselves a copy of…

What the ear-bleed is happening, all my fellow folken who’ve mastered ninjitsu due to an Ex who took great joy in ambushing you at all hours of the day and night with a variety of weapons that were both physical and verbal?  This is just an afternoon reminder to grab yerselves a copy of Echo…

How are y’all doing, my fellow strugglers against the entropic tide of time that renders our once plump and firm nether bits into droopy, wisp-crusted beasts which could double as the apocalyptic horror T.S. Eliot hinted at in “The Wasteland?”  This is just an afternoon reminder to grab yerselves a copy of Echo and download…

What the butt-lick is going on, all my fellow dutiful love-makers who’ve felt particularly magnanimous, given the rusty bullet hole a kiss, then gasped in utter fucking horror as your senses were assaulted by the colon-borne Evil From Within?  This is just an afternoon reminder to grab yerselves a copy of Echo and download the…

How you all doing, my fellow humans who’re secretly concocting a magic ritual that will transform your genitals into divine emitters of fractalized radiance, so that you can do away with the Gross that comes from your peen or vajeen and instead discharge a blazing panoply of wonders that will surely make you the life…

What the sniff-yer-own-junk is happening, all my fellow peoples who’ve become increasingly certain that your own body odor is some miraculous conglomeration of Magic and Sparkles, then made the near-fatal mistake of trying to convince your lover that they should take a whiff?  This is just an afternoon reminder to grab yerselves a copy of…