What the spider-monkey-style sex is happening, all my fellow lovemakers who’ve raised up into a semi-squat during a doggorific pounding, and been abruptly seized by vicious hamstring cramps and curled into a fetal position while voicing pained gasps and crying for a doctor? This is just an afternoon reminder to grab yerselves a copy of Echo and download the 2 Logical Idiots Podcast! (And to leave a positive review for them as well! 🙂 ) Just to allay your fears: neither Echo nor my podcast are about embarrassingly hilarious sex fails. No way dude-faces! Echo’s all about pissed-off super-soldiers, hairy-faced rowr-beasties, and psionic weapons with super dope names like the Blaze Avatar! Also, if you’ve read any of my books or heard my podcast, please remember to leave a positive review for them on Amazon and iTunes. Amazon reviews only takes a minute of your time, and you don’t need to have made a “verified purchase” in order to make them; you only need an Amazon account (in case you read my stuff through Kindle Unlimited or other means). To give you an idea of how sexarific positive Amazon reviews are to us indie authors, imagine this: you’re smoking a cigar, sitting at your boss’s desk, pretending that you’re living the high life of expensive suits, wattle-rife turkey necks, ambien-hazed nights, and a good-for-nothing trophy spouse that spends too much time with their tennis trainer, when Mr. Grumpy McGrumperson, the head of the company, walks in and narrows his eyes at you.
“The fuck are you doing?” McGrumperson asks.
“Um…ah…” The cigar droops limply from your fingers.
“POWERPOINT TIME, MOTHERFUCKER!” McGrumperson claps his hands and automated straps raise up from the armrests, loop down, and secure your wrists to the chair. Clockwork Orange-style speculum spread your eyes open, forcing you to gaze upon slide after slide of corporatized blither-blather: MOVE THE NEEDLE. PARADIGM SHIFT. SYNERGY. PULL THE TRIGGER. GAME CHANGER. ACTION PLAN.
Two words erupt from your mouth: “KIIIIILLLL MEEEEEE!!!”
Blood starts pouring from your ears and your anus, but before you can wither into a micro-penised Office Gollum, a Flash ad for a squat rack pops up on the screen. McGrumperson glances at it and bursts into flames.
“AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!” He clutches his eyes as he careens wildly through his office. “A FUNCTIONAL EXERCISE THAT REVEALS MY LACK OF PHYSICALITY AND PLUNGING TESTOSTERONE—THE ANTITHESIS OF MY VERY BEING!” Then he crashes out the high-rise glass and falls a dozen stories to his Dilbertian death. YES! See that surprise save by an ad that would normally annoy the piss out of you is EXACTLY what we indie authors/podcasters feel when we get a positive review on Amazon or iTunes! So do your favorite indie author/podcaster (and perennial Man Child) Kent Wayne a tingly-sacked favor and leave him a positive review on the ’Zons or the ’Tunes! Thank You All and have a Good and Chill Night!!! 🙂 🙂 😀
Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition I’ve started a podcast: Logical Idiots! If you want to check it out on YouTube, see it here: Logical Idiots on YouTube and help two complete morons out by subscribing, liking, and commenting! Here’s the iTunes page: Logical Idiots on iTunes. Also, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com! Go check out his computer-based wizardry 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜