Personally, when I take what the Muse gives me and I shape it as best I can for other people, it seems that she gives me more and more…

I suspect that it’s because that what I was originally given was never really mine, and giving it away is the best way to ensure that I’ll keep receiving.

I suspect that help comes in the form of clues and grace…but if that’s true, then I also suspect that I open myself to its presence by willing to cast aside comforts and dogmas, and let go of all the trappings of my old self—those once-useful devices that now keep me from tasting freedom.

While I used to be driven by the possibility of “nobility,” now I’m driven by pragmatism.  I realized that every chance I have, every opportunity I’ve been given, is a privilege and a gift; as I’ve grown older and examined the world around me, I’ve seen that some people are born without chance or opportunity.  Or given such a razor-slim margin of it that they might as well be completely bereft of it.

When I pass up opportunity by knowingly procrastinating or being sloppy, then I have lost my perspective and declared through my actions that I can count on solely on luck. 

That’s not the message I want to broadcast.

One of the ways I deal with depression is I sit in it, acknowledge it, lay out what needs to be done (even if it’s something mundane), and start doing it.  This “de-personalization” of depression seems to reduce the overwhelming immediacy of it, and gives me some room to remember that my problems really aren’t that bad.  Then, eventually, the depression fades, and I find my way back to a state of balance.

I used to rage against it, or flee from it, but those approaches never worked for me and often amplified my problems.  I now think of depression as simply another natural state, one that must be acknowledged and handled.  And so is happiness, I think.  They both come and go, and in the tides of time, I believe they are simply states of being that I must address accordingly.  Sometimes, I even glean valuable knowledge from their occurrence and passing.

If there is indeed some grand benevolence that orders existence, it has made its design cryptic and contentious.  There are countless “correct” ways to express my belief/disbelief of it.

But what seems readily evident to me is that there is great reward in functioning well, and passing the fruits of that function onto others.  Whenever I do that, the question of whether there’s a grand benevolence becomes null and void to me.  For if it exists, I imagine it would endorse that conduct, and if it doesn’t….

Well, at least I’M pleased with the results.

The days when I’m dragging, the days when I have to assess everything I’m doing to make sure whether it’s worth my energy and moving me forward…

Those are the days that teach me the most; they make me appreciative of the days when I’m filled with inspiration and enthusiasm, and they also teach me the importance of strategy—the best way to employ my time.

For as the seconds tick by, so do the years, so do the decades, and so does my life.

Without being ruthlessly humble—without being able to admit that I’m out of my depth the INSTANT I realize it—I can’t use others’ knowledge as effectively as possible, because I’m clinging to the notion that I know it all.

I’ve seen many folks forced into low, laughable positions because they were afraid to get laughed at.

The hero’s predecessor is often the fool.  The willingness to appear ridiculous is synonymous with the willingness to venture forth and acquire hidden treasures, which are recurrently protected by pride and obstinacy.

According to the evidence, it seems that effort is futile; everyone and everything I know will fall apart, over the span of eons and millennia.  So what does that leave me with?

To try and do the best I can with what’s in front of me, because not only is that practical, it brings me peace.  Hope might be questionable, but fulfillment seems to be well within my grasp.

I suspect that all systems, all philosophies, all modes of being are simply flavors.  And if one can’t assemble them into a comprehensive meal, then they’re destined to suffer from malnutrition, or even starve.