I believe a question that hurts ego but maintains accountability might go something along the lines of: “Yeah, it’s cool that you were a [military/spiritual/artist/author/businessperson/quirky/quarterback/prom king or queen/etc.]…but what are you doing to improve yourself TODAY? And then tomorrow? And the day after that?”
That question keeps us from hiding behind labels, and forces us to hold ourselves accountable for the time we have left.
Is this a question we should be asking ourselves?
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And why are you pushing your kid to be what you used to be???? (pardon me while I fume quietly in the corner of my basement in AK.)
I did this for a time, what a horrible thing for a parent to do!
More like, “Why are you pushing your kid to be what you wanted to be but wasn’t good enough…?”
I don’t believe in labels, nor ownership. I do identify with my vocation but that’s my spiritual calling so I don’t know how to exist apart from it.
IMO… Sitting back and “riding” on labels and accomplishments from your past is a complete waste of time. While I can’t say that I’ve done anything great with my life, I can say that I’ve never stopped trying to figure out what’s next for me and heading in that direction. I’ve got good memories of being a good sound engineer for some interesting and regionally known bands and people. I’ve been a DM for some great gaming groups. I’m proud of those things, but I can’t ever remember a time to this day where I thought I could use those reputations for easy gain. It did lead to other gigs and game nights, in some cases, but I still had to prove myself capable each and every time. I have never been able to just coast. I would argue that my life has been better for it, too.
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Kent Wayne 
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