Tag: humor

By the suspiciously good-smelling taint gunge (how did that happen?)!!!  Tomorrow, Echo 1 is FREE for five days!  Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition are $0.99 for a week!  Eat the hell out of your significant other’s salad (I’ll leave that one for you to interpret—do you earn yourself an…

By the agony and ecstasy of having an enormous pair of clit-slapping balls that slap too damn hard and leave you feeling like you just got kicked in the hairy necessaries!!!  The day after tomorrow, Echo 1 is FREE for five days!  Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition are $0.99…

By Sonic the Hedge Hog’s prickly-spined penis!!!  Starting May 15, Echo 1 is FREE for five days!  Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition are $0.99 for a week!  Orgasm into your favorite sock, pour its sodden contents into your asshole boss’s favorite coffee mug, and go tell everybody!  WHOOO!!! Get Echo…

By the finest genital-cheese from Yarkonbits 4!!!  Starting May 15, Echo 1 is FREE for five days!  Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition are $0.99 for a week!  Scamper up your hated neighbor’s oft-used chimney, take a corn-filled dook into its yawning aperture, and go tell everybody!  WHOOO!!! Get Echo Vol.…

Balls-chin from Beeguhnops!!!  Starting May 15, Echo 1 is FREE for five days!  Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition are $0.99!  Challenge your friend by claiming they can’t do a sit-up with their eyes closed, yank your pants down and spread your cheeks so they jam their face into your…

Da fuq?  How did I become a psychedelic mushroom?  Last thing I remember is— Oh no!  Down the hatch I go!  GALUMPH! Stomach acid breaks me into my base components, which filter through the blood-brain barrier and spark neural connections that only get triggered in dream or death. Holy crap, this body IS a mushroom…a…

“HAHAHA!  Illuminati Kent!  Get yer ass in here and have a cigar!  And just so you know—your seat’s been made from the tanned and cured hides of third-world workers!  Better ’n elephant skin, lemme tell ya!  There’s also a wide range of refreshments—I recommend the spiced baby’s blood!” “Thanks Illuminati Digby.”  I walk up to…

My name is Spermatazoid 103824.  I belong to the fetid being known as Kent Wayne.  Do not be seduced by his panty-dropping smile or luscious muscles—he is a terrible, villainous person. For the longest time, we sperm happily coexisted with him.  Sometimes, there were too many of us and he had to discharge a few…

Most of you have a Quarantine Nemesis.  It might be a significant other who insists you become their personal maid.  Maybe it’s a dog that doesn’t wanna walk, ’cos you’ve taken them out for the twentieth time in a single day. Mine is my right hand. I call it Deathstroke, and for good reason—it insists…

Who would’ve thought that Kent Wayne, freewheeling Man Whore and sci-fi author, would end up shackled to a desk in a Grammar Nazi internment camp? Yep—I’m not proud of it, but they managed to lure me in by inviting me to a Soccer Mom bachelorette party.  For the first few minutes they had me fooled—I’d…