“HAHAHA!  Illuminati Kent!  Get yer ass in here and have a cigar!  And just so you know—your seat’s been made from the tanned and cured hides of third-world workers!  Better ’n elephant skin, lemme tell ya!  There’s also a wide range of refreshments—I recommend the spiced baby’s blood!”

“Thanks Illuminati Digby.”  I walk up to my chair and take a seat.  “How are Illuminati Yates and Illuminati Aldrich?”

“HAHAHA!”  His jowly red face jiggles and quivers.  “Compromising legislatures and undermining markets!”  He points his cigar at me and throws me a wink.

“Right.”  I clear my throat.  “So I didn’t come here just for chit-chat.  I’ve heard that Illuminati Whitaker has produced a vaccine that will counteract the effects of all known disease.  May I see it?”

He’s instantly pissed.  “The hell are you talking about?  You know he only makes those so he can hold the patents and sue for infringement!  Permanent cures are bad for business!”

“Yeah, of course,” I reply.  “What was I thinking?”  Shit.  This is not going the way I’d hoped it would.

So I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

Soccer Mom Prime busts through the skylight, clad in sexy black tactical latex.  Digby’s eyes widen to the size of goddamn dinner plates.

“MERCENARIES!” he screeches.  “PROTECT ME!”

She jabs his throat and rips out a vertebrae, leaving a gushing hole in the middle of his neck.  As black-booted thugs storm the room, she flips down a set of augmented battle-goggles and draws a telescoping techno-katana out from her back-sheath.  In a matter of seconds, she’s killed them all, with nary a scratch on her luscious-boobied body.

“Come on, Kent—I want a helping of your thick, upcurved wiener.”  She takes me by the hand and leads me out the door.

“But the vaccine,” I protest.  “I might be infected with something!  Who knows if—”

“Silly Man Whore.”  She chuckles knowingly.  “You’re filled with the perfect balance of STDs, vying for dominance and cancelling each other out.  We’ll get the vaccine later—flash-publish the molecular encoding through a dark-web data-bomb.”

“Well in that case…”

*70s porn music*

😀

 

 

Are you attempting to cure all ills by pretending to be a behind-the-scenes overlord, only now you need a deus ex machina assist?  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀