Tag: humor
-
Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel
Work the problem, work the problem. During the last few years, that’s become my mantra. It’s a helluva lot more effective than “Don’t quit,” or “Everything happens for a reason,” or “things will be better the next time around.” And that’s why I use it; it’s not about trying to live up to some tough-buy bullshit,…
-
Musings, Volume 1
Someone stole my car yesterday (true story). Want to know what happened after that? Pause. Rewind. ZZZZEEOooooooZWOOP! (That’s the best rewind noise I can write right now–keep yer gripes to yerself!) As I wander the streets of downtown Oakland over and over for hours on end, trying to convince myself I’d parked it somewhere…
-
Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel
My manager claps me companionably on the shoulder. I swivel around on my office chair. “This is your third year at All-World Compliance, Kent. Didn’t want to scare you off, so I never mentioned that most people don’t make it past their first month. The staff thinks you’re due for a promotion.” “Really? Uh, wow.” …
-
Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel
Urgh. Kent hungo. Kent need to feed. Ruuuhhh…Urrrr….walk outside. Look for food. Nothing around. Neighborhood is bad. All full of zombie. Everything rusty. Nothing work. Ruuuhhh…walk some more. My name Zombie Kent. Many years pass since I go pee-pee, or eat the Cheeto or Dorito. Now I eat fresh human. No taste good, but taste…
-
Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel
You know, raising a family isn’t that bad. As a younger man, I railed against the nine to five life, the 2.5 kids, the white picket fence…but here I am, a grown-ass man of fifty-three years, making it work. I never thought I’d marry, much less settle down. All I used to do was work…
-
Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel
I’ve worn many hats: author, Man Whore, modern-day caveman…but now that I’m working in an office, I’m ready to try my hand at moving up the ladder. Yep—I’ve been studying the management, and it appears that none of them really know what they’re doing. But they all have total and utter unwarranted confidence. And I…
-
Just got banned for THIRTY DAYS FROM FACEBOOK! FIGHT ME ZUCKERBERG!!!
In an attempt to be humorous, I posted a pic of a nerd holding a lightsaber with a tentpole in his boxers. ANY thing could’ve been causing it; nobody knows if he even HAS a cock! (can’t be sure of anything nowadays) Facebook, you gang of social media fascists, FIGHT ME!!! (Or just remove the…
-
Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel
I walk through my campus, flashing an easy grin, but reserving my panty-dropping smile for the students’ moms. That’s right—I need a lady who’s down with the Nasty. Any chick who’s squirted a nine-pound fleshling out from their nethers in a horrific, Cthulu-like spawn-session is way more down to try some butt-stuff. (Just sayin’.) Man,…
-
Musings, Volume 1
When was the last time someone called me by my birth name: “Kent Wayne?” It has been so long…so many eons… I believe I have existed like this for over a billion years, but I have lost the ability to use time-specific delineations as descriptors for events. I have become much like a photon; when…
-
Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel
Hum dee fucking dum…just got off work and finished the drive home. Now I’m about to walk into my homey little studio, ready to cook me some veggies and meat, slough off the fake-as-fuck corporate smile, and commence with my pre-bedtime jerk. Not a bad life, but I sure wish I had more time to…
Kent Wayne 