Urgh. Kent hungo. Kent need to feed.
Ruuuhhh…Urrrr….walk outside. Look for food. Nothing around. Neighborhood is bad. All full of zombie. Everything rusty. Nothing work.
Ruuuhhh…walk some more.
My name Zombie Kent. Many years pass since I go pee-pee, or eat the Cheeto or Dorito. Now I eat fresh human. No taste good, but taste better than other stuff.
Wait—what that? Little dog, scampering across floor. Tiny 10 lb. terrier. Does Kent know dog? Looks familiar…
Does not matter. Dog is food. Taste worse than human, but still food.
Ruuhh…Ruuuuhhh….RUUUUHHHH!!! COME HERE, LITTLE DOGGY—I EAT I EAT I EAT! COME HERE!!!
And then little dog opens eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
My body regenerates from the inside out—organs swell up, blood starts pumping, and fresh skin crawls across my desiccated limbs. In a matter of seconds I’m my old self: Kent Wayne—sci-fi author and idiot Man Whore.
“Rowf Urf Arfologist!” Bitefighter—my 10 lb. terrier, best buddy, and 83rd level intellect—exclaims.
“What’s that buddy? You can cure the world?” My eyes widen in astonishment.
He sits a little taller, and his swishy little tail tics back and forth. “Roof roof McRowf!”
“AND you’ve managed to unite general relativity and quantum physics?” My eyes widen further.
“Then let’s go!” I wave my arm excitedly and take off running. My little buddy stays abreast, churning his nubby little legs as fast as he can. Man, this is awesome! We’re gonna save the world AND induce a science-changing paradigm shift!
(And along the way, I’m gonna seduce me a boatload of Soccer Moms! Ha HA!)
Have you gotten stranded in a shitty zombie apocalypse? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast: Strained Brains! It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play! Please give it a listen and a five-star review! Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization, and last but not least, my buddy Jumar Balacy has made a supercool microsite at kentwaynebrain.com! Go check out his computer-based wizardry 🙂 🙂 😀
Hold on! I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate! If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish. Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens! In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to! Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy! Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts! 😲💪 😜