I’ve concluded that arguing with negativity-oriented people–those who use creativity and rationale to consistently redirect focus back onto negativity–is a waste of time. Nothing you say or do will be good enough; the best you can do is temporarily quiet them with tangible results. Even then, they’ll eventually find a way to rationalize your efforts as insufficient.
So I’d rather leave them be and concentrate on the next opportunity. They’ve already decided that nothing works as it should.
I am Michael Raven and I support these statements.
(I wonder whatever happened to that phrase. Or, maybe, I need to watch more political theatre.)
Regardless, I agree.
It’s difficult to escape the negativity card; especially since people often use it as a trump card. I’ve been guilty of it, drawn into it, and victimized by it. Sometimes it can be a catalyst for change, but usually it just turns into spiraling can’t do’s and finger pointing. Who really enjoys living that way??? (sadly, a lot of people seem to!!) …I’ll keep on trying to find the positives. 🍀
I think I can relate. I used to believe, as Lucky says in my very-soon-to-be-published book, that “focusing on problems IS the solution.” It definitely is a meager way to live. What seems to work for me is being conscious about not fighting against negativity. Let people be negative, and if I’m feeling negative, let myself feel negative. Forcing positivity only makes me feel more negative. But when I let things flow and don’t wallow in negativity, it seems positivity naturally replaces it. It requires a certain amount of trust for me, because in the depths of negativity, nothing positive resonates. I just have to resonate with as much mental ease as I can, then let positivity come back in.
Excellent point! If anything could be said to be “triggering” for me, it’s people who are just perpetually problem-oriented. Just wanna whine; never wanna move on to solutions.
So if focusing on the negative people only drains our energy and time, then yes, it’s better to move on and find the next opportunity. Well said, and thank you for sharing this little musing.
XOXO,
Kiddo Elliott
https://sweetdreamsguide.com/
Good for you.
Me too!
I just recently stopped using all “combative” language. News Flash! I’m not going to change the world with anything I write. Can we ever expect 8 billion people to agree on anything and use a little “common sense”?
As of the past 3 months, I’ve been focused on telling real stories about real people. I’m focused on good people with while applying a little bit of humor.
As a result, I enjoy writing and my productivity is 4 times what it was.
Awesome! That’s really the point of life, I think, to really explore what gives you soul-deep enjoyment, regardless of reward.
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“[…] is a waste of time.” In group therapy we’re being taught modern psychological innovations like ‘cognitive dissonance’ and ‘reframing.’ Now let me help you out with my unsolicited thought, writer-man, I’d call these interactions ‘stoic exercises.’ It’s helped me build grit, brother man. Alternatively, instead of arguing, I’d tell them how they inspired all the characters everyone loves to hate and they are great fuel for that and how “people HATE my writing up until they get to the character you inspired so I really thank you for your service. also people viscerally hate you; i see it on their face when i use words to describe my experience with you.”
If you can steer it towards positivity, I’m all for it! My gut helps inform me when there’s something worth saying, and when I’m dealing with someone who is so entrenched in negativity they will find a negative outcome no matter what the assistance or perspective. It’s definitely a case by case art, in my experience.
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Arguing with negative people is like giving a kid a tin of paint. It might be initially funny, but sooner or later everything is covered in paint and you are both crying!!!!…………………………there is a life lesson in there somewhere!!
Great analogy! It’s ironic because it feels engaging at first, but then frustrating because of how hard it is to disengage once things really get going.
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Kent Wayne 
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