Kent Wayne

Musings

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by

DirtySciFiBuddha
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 I’ve come to suspect that specific thoughts are outgrowths of emotional states.  So when I practice conscious allowance (as opposed to forcible conscious deliberation—justification, rationalization, denial, demonization, redirection, etc.—which in my experience strengthen and prolong negativity) I can tone down the disturbing specificities of a particular thought, and allow its emotional core to be felt and released.  So if I’m angry at someone, I just allow myself to feel the anger, without thinking of why, who I’m angry at, or how to express the anger.  I’m just angry.  It responds to my allowance by allowing my default peace and well-being to naturally reassert themselves.  This way, I don’t have to wallow in specificities, and simply allow the core negativity to be felt and released. 

That’s my experience, anyway.  I’ve only recently started doing this, but it seems to work so far. 

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Comments

12 responses to “Musings”

  1. edwardnortonfan Avatar
    edwardnortonfan

    That makes a lot of sense. I’m having a weird Revelation right now where I’m seeing that I can’t really control what’s going to happen in the future so I have to live in the moment. Even though things are scary and I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. I have to take everything one day at a time so I’m not really freaking out like I would. Normally even though bills are piling up and everything seems to be going wrong, I’m just waiting to see what happens next and I’m waiting to see what happens next with a lot of my friendships too because I’m realizing that my friends are not necessarily good relationships for me to be in right now or ever. It’s complicated. But I’m glad that things seem to be going well for you emotionally and you’re figuring things out.

    Reply
    1. DirtySciFiBuddha Avatar
      DirtySciFiBuddha

      I’ve kind of resigned myself to what you’re talking about. Even when I think I have things dialed in, my expectations tend to go sideways. I’m taking that as a hint that life just wants me to go with the flow more.

      Reply
  2. Susanne Matthews Avatar
    Susanne Matthews

    Sometimes owning an emotion is the only way to deal with it.

    Reply
  3. joannlassus Avatar
    joannlassus

    I think I’ll need to read this a few times to really grasp conscious allowance. Then again, it’s not even 9am, so maybe only once more after coffee. Makes me think, though, which is always a good thing.

    Reply
    1. DirtySciFiBuddha Avatar
      DirtySciFiBuddha

      Yeah, I’m with you–I’m not allowing anything but coffee when it’s before 9am lol. Usually it takes me until 10 or 11 to stop being zombie-ish

      Reply
  4. Michelle Avatar
    Michelle

    I’ve always been the person that gets angry or annoyed and has to immediately pinpoint who is to blame for my feelings and how they can fix it. About ten years ago I learned I don’t have to do that, that I can simply be (insert feeling) and do nothing about it. It’s not an easy row to hoe, but it has been worth it!
    I’m enjoying all your musings lately!

    Reply
    1. DirtySciFiBuddha Avatar
      DirtySciFiBuddha

      I think I can relate. I’d immediately feel obligated to figure out everything inside me to return to a state of normalcy, then I just stopped and it was much easier.

      Reply
  5. sbwheeler Avatar
    sbwheeler

    Anger can be seen as a signal to the universe that it’s ‘got it wrong’. And it releases a tension we feel over trying to ‘put it right’. We can be less angry if we relax our beliefs of what is ‘wrong’ – if we allow ourselves to just experience instead of ‘controlling’. But then, the instinct to control comes from our instinct to survive, so in the end we’d need to relax that too. What you’re doing is to create a temporary ‘perceptive blur’ that hides what the mind has decided is wrong. Others use drink or drugs. But the blur is only temporary.

    Reply
    1. Fifienne Avatar
      Fifienne

      I don’t think anger is only about “control”…

      Reply
    2. DirtySciFiBuddha Avatar
      DirtySciFiBuddha

      That could be true. But for me, it doesn’t seem to be temporary. Maybe it’s because I’m not so intent on survival anymore, and I feel like I’ve checked off all the big goals in my life. Or maybe I just am a fluke. I just go with what seems to work the best in the long term.

      Reply
  6. dnalumuland Avatar
    dnalumuland

    Only if I’ve read this 2 hours ago I may not have found myself in a situation slowly but increasingly glow in anger and start raising my voice towards a stranger about unfair administration decision but i realized one part of me saying are you sure you’re doing this now and the other part a bit laughing and yet another part well it is what it is but just notice it and that’s all… there are moments that need to sculpt the tone of honesty for ourselves and the other and personal readiness to surrender – maybe one day – that will be truthfully to keep still during the same situation …

    Reply
    1. DirtySciFiBuddha Avatar
      DirtySciFiBuddha

      It’s probably a little different for everyone. But I sincerely hope that you find the best way possible for you, and that it brings you ease and fulfillment!

      Reply

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