As far as I can tell, applying emotional intelligence is akin to using a rudder; it doesn’t correct your heading all at once, but it does start aligning you with your goals.
So for negative emotions, I try to jump straight to apathy or boredom (oh well, it is what it is, we all die anyway) but if I can’t do that, I abide in whatever state gives me the feeling of relief, until it no longer relieves me and feels uncomfortable, then I move to the next state where I feel relief again. (Anger relieves my depression, frustration relieves my anger, pessimism relieves my frustration, etc.) Once I’m at boredom or apathy, I abide and chill until it opens into mild satisfaction (things aren’t going to plan, but at least I’ve got some tasty food or an entertaining video), and from there I naturally rise into optimism, hope, excitement, and joy.
In my experience, it’s easy to navigate the positive (just milk the crap out of it), but it requires some finesse and awareness to navigate the negative.
Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha 
Very wise approach. Navigate out of Apathy and Boredom and even little things do look better and so the upward cycle begins.
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Indeed! The key for me is to be gentle with it. If I get too obsessive then I just get stuck.
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I am trying to imagine that level of awareness that is needed to navigate negative emotions like this. So far, all I ever got to was keeping myself busy (for example with writing) and hoping to keep it up long enough to not actively destroy something.
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Even though it sounds cheesy, for me it boils down to a consistent focus on being as positive as I can. Not false positivity–that just makes me more negative–but the best-feeling thought I can resonate with, even if that’s revenge or hate. Over the years, I’ve come to realize that being as positive as I can will lead me up the scale to actual positivity. It’s hard in the moment when I’m negative, but I’ve come to have some faith because of past experiences.
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I can understand that. Especially that a positive state can be a strong or energized emotion, such as rage.
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Absolutely. In some cases, like traumatized victims, I feel like that’s an important step in their healing.
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That is a very insightful answer, and it is very true.
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So true.
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Navigating your emotions demands a compass. Only in understanding what you are going through you can change anything. Endure the negative and mold it gently into something positive.
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Absolutely. False positivity makes me more negative, so it’s important for me to be as positive as I can and acknowledge that’s all I can be at the moment, even if it’s anger or irritation. Whatever I’m focusing on has to be resonant, or it doesn’t open into more positivity. I just get stuck.
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Yes, you can’t fake emotions.
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There’s a lot of wisdom here that takes some time to digest. I’m going to try to remember the basic steps: start with the most positive emotion possible (even if it’s just the least negative), and rather than stew in it, just sit in it awhile and be open to gently nudging up to a more positive emotion. Does that get the gist of what you’re saying?
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That’s how it works for me, but I believe everyone has to tinker with it to find what works for them. Apathy is very reliable for me, I find it very easily in a negative state, but that may not resonate with others. Some people go straight to positivity very easily. They’re like dogs (in the best possible sense). I used to think they were faking positivity, but eventually I realized they were being genuine, although they’re pretty rare in my experience.
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You’ve got that elevated awareness 👏
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Thank you! The way I think of it is I’ve just been beaten down by life to the point where I’m sick of being beaten, lol! 😅
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My friend, I 100% feel that feel. ❤️ Ram Dass has probably helped me the most with that sort of thing.
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I read his book awhile ago. I’m an on and off fan of his follower Duncan Trussell! 😊
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Omg no way! I freaking love Duncan Trussell Family Hour!!!! His ads are RIDICULOUS. I should have known by your writing style 🤣you have excellent taste 👌
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Haha this is amazing! Can’t believe I connected with another D Trussell fan! Yeah, his ads inspired me to have fun with my own (minus the music and editing; I can’t believe he mixes up his own music and splices it in there). He’s funny, of course, but it’s borderline poetic! I also love his backstory; basement dwelling, Starcraft-addicted layabout to freewheeling, positivity-spreading, raspy-voiced comic. My heart broke when they didn’t renew Midnight Gospel for season 2. That show was brilliant! 😄
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I thought they approved a second season!?!?! That is so incredibly devastating. I absolutely love how they handled the subject of death in that series! Broke my brain! And I know he ended up becoming besties with Joe Rogan bc he’d answer phones at the comedy club and they’d just talk on the phone for hours 😄 so glad to meet a fellow fan 🙃
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I know, it broke my heart too. The episode with his mom was amazing. Plus I loved the songs “as I sprayed hot piss in his gouged out eyes” 😂. Rogan and Trussell really helped me when I was navigating psychedelics. I miss those days when Rogan was more freewheeling; I probably agree with a lot of what he says on the culture war stuff, but I don’t share his vibe of always wanting to pick at it or invest a bunch of time in the arguments.
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HAHAHA yes the songs are fantastically gross 🤣 you know, I’m a big fan of when Rogan and Trussell do a podcast together. Their chemistry is unreal. Rogan, though, is a bit much for me as a woman at times lol. I appreciate the pothead humor 👋 but I’m a lot more into philosophy and eastern teachings and stuff. So hard to find someone who handles it so brilliantly as Duncan! He is so awake.
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I agree! I feel like he’s sometimes a bit too hard on himself, but who isn’t? His statements seem to come from a place of love. 😊
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Technically i spend my day fighting for those too small to fight for themselves! i can add you to my collection if you like, just slide down my web, i will coccon you in and promise only toe eat you when i feel like it! lol 😅(send you a shield to go with your flash!) lets face it there is four inches height difference and i am a giant, heels on and my h’s will be cheering you up all day long! lol ❤️
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I’m pretty delicious. I’ll think you’ll feel like eating me all day long! 🤣
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Wine me! Dine me! summer of … me! lol seems a shame to waste time on just one desert, do not think you would like a banana split, what about cherry pie! 🤣
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Sounds delicious! 😂
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Sims event; fridge, take a slice and dive in! woohoo more than delicious it is a brand new pie! just add icecream!😂 now you know why i was silent!….bad girl! If i had not raised them through the system i would worry i might catch another one! lol
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Milk the crap out of it. Love that!
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😊
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Life’s positive vibes always lighten our steps, but negativity’s chains attempt to hold us back.
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My strategy entirely! So many people are afraid off emotions they perceive as negative but like you say, we pass from one feeling to another and they are all healthy and necessary.
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“milking the crap out of it!” In anger i return to Rome! My traffic lights for emotions are over ridden by my desire to devour my prey! And slay demons! !0 second voice note to kill… I really need a new outlet!
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