You know me as an author, but to legions of thirsty soccer moms, I’m known as an award-winning He-Trollop.  Unfortunately, birthing cool-ass stories about sci-fi robots, psychedelically powered reality-warping teens, and fantasy-world portal adventures where a college kid’s dog transforms into a Wolven King…yeah, it doesn’t pay much.  Fortunately, selling my girthy ol’ upcurve does the trick.  

A Man Whore’s gotta do what a Man Whore’s gotta do. 

Demographically speaking, my clientele is somewhat narrow:  Soccer Moms only.  I’ve whored around different communities, and I’ve settled on this one because they truly appreciate my strumpeting efforts.  They take particular delight in my varied menu for butthole stimulation, as well as my different choices for hole-widening smashing.  I’m proud of my range—it goes from slow-to-shlorp to spider-monkey-frenzy, to blow-your-soul-out with a side of drool-trickling-from-mouth, paired with a sprinkling of vacant thoughtless stare.  I understand.  If you’re trying to raise kids with names like Hunter, Kaiden, Maxwell, Brackston, or any other moniker that’s vulnerable to morphing into roofie-slinging frat-scum, it can do a number on your brain and drive you to seek a little release.  Soccer Moms get along with me, and I get along with Soccer Moms.

So imagine my surprise when I’m mid-thrust with my latest servicee, a banging (literally in this case) woman named Kelly who looks me in the eye and asks if she can speak to the manager.

“Come again?”  My brow wrinkles in confusion.

“Can I speak to the manager?”  Her lips split in a devilish grin, the kind you’d see before someone tore their face off and revealed they were Astaroth, or you discovered their skin-sack body was full of ravenous demon-bugs.

“No…” I whisper.  “NO!”  I stagger towards the door, but it’s too fucking late—her heinous energies have already infected me.

I just fucked a Karen. 

Black veins erupt across my skin.  Vomit surges up and spews past my lips.  As I writhe and seize and clutch the air, my dick doesn’t just shrink, it literally inverts and implodes into a black hole singularity, distorting the air as it begins pulling in mass. 

“Fuck you, Kent Wayne!” she cackles as she climbs out my window.  “That’ll teach you to dismiss our nonstop complaints!”  The last I see of her is her extended middle finger, wishing me a not-so-fond farewell before she slips out of my condo.

The room brightens with Hawking radiation.  My vision fills with disintegrating matter, warped by hazy bands of incoming space-time.  In a matter of seconds, the gravity will accelerate to the point of no return and collapse me into a point of infinite density.

Fuck it.  No options left.  So I open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality-distortion powers.  Magic flash.

All around me, a sphere of holographic milf-porn leaps into existence.  I’m treated to countless variations of soccer-mom-shlorping.  Close-ups, povs, doggy from the side, doggy from the front, the tried and true cowgirl spasm-n-grind…my iris lights up with life-giving boffing.  If this were a movie, uplifting destiny-music would come to the fore while the audience was treated to an epic spinny-camera shot. 

Predictably, my big ol’ womb-hammer reverses its black-hole inversion and surges back into upcurved existence.  Yes!  Fuck you, you goddamn boner-to-black-hole, terrorist-ass Karens!  The world lives to see another day, and this Man Whore lives to please another Soccer Mom!

Kent Wayne wins again!  HEH heh heh!

😀

Has some piece-of-shit Karen turned your genitals into a world-ending doomsday device?  Never fear!  Buy my books, activate their reality distorting powers, and save humanity by watching some existence-affirming porn! 

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!    

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!     #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing