No one’s sure what the exact date is anymore; the only thing we all agree upon is that a number of years ago, Social Justice Warriors concentrated their idiocy using a Possibility Engine and ripped a hole into the fabric of reality.  I’m leading a band of rebels on a raid into the Halls of…

I’m running across a frozen tundra, fleeing from an army of soccer moms that have had enough of my stupid ads.  They’re in sleds that are leashed to packs of snarling husbands, half of whom are wearing Gimp masks.  Normally I ‘d be able to outrun a sled pulled by scrabbling suburbanites on all fours, but…

The Earth has been taken over by hordes of Emo-poets.  Under their dark rule the populace suffers a rain of soul-mashing mind-feces.  Waves of anti-life energy emanate from their mouths, turning steaks from medium-rare to well-done, and dogs into cats.  I’m fleeing their forces in a motorized skiff across the moonlit ocean, traveling parallel to…