Musings

Musings

DirtySciFiBuddha16 Comments

I don’t believe discipline is a masochistic ritual where I constantly force myself to do what I hate (which I have spent decades doing), it’s consistently focusing on being in touch with my feelings and dreams, staying oriented around what makes me happy in the long run, following up on leads and hunches that might arise from that vantage. Sometimes, there’s pain and inconvenience along the way, but if I prioritize my clarity and perspective, the speedbumps can be weirdly enjoyable and amusing.

Ultimately, I wouldn’t call that discipline. To me, it’s simply living how I want.

16 thoughts on “Musings”

  1. I read a quote once (this one’s a more complete version of it): “We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.” by Jim Rohn. It scares me, because discipline is something I neither have nor want to have anything to do with. =P Unless you count brushing my teeth once a day.

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    • It seems a cursed catch-22, where it is pain and inconvenience both ways no matter what. I’m of the opinion that if we direct our focus and intention toward positivity without forcing or falsifying it (key word toward, as positivity is not always attainable in the moment), then things ease up by virtue of our perception, the idea of sacrificial discipline becomes less relevant, and we are guided toward naturally doing what is best for us in the long term, while fully enjoying what is happening in the short term. Perhaps it is delusional, but as long as it is philosophically ambiguous, I’d rather not live a catch-22 life.

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  2. I came across this quote from another post I read this morning;

    “A man can’t be a man until he knows that he is strong enough at his weakest moment.”

    I think this ties into your notion of clarity. In any case, it is commendable to read that you’re living an examined life. It is something worth striving for.

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  4. I get the “Feelings and dreams” part. How does that tie to disciplines requisite to daily life? Mundane stuff: eating, sleeping properly, recognizing when the yard needs a trim, minding the fluid levels in all the mechanicals, and taking out the trash before the TrashMoWagon tours the ‘hood? I live, obviously, a pretty dull life when my dreams and feel-goods don’t incorporate discipline necessary to be less than a bit of a slob and laggard.

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    • I’m an existentially minded thinker, so my focus would be what am I living for? Is it an ideal, the collective, or a subjective set of values? Personally, I believe that even though the differences might be slight, everyone is unique (at the very least in that they do not encounter the same atomic configuration of the universe by virtue of the fact that they don’t occupy the exact same point in space-time) and that they are meant to walk unique paths and attain a unique manner of fulfillment. So those routine things that maintain my life, are they fulfillment in and of themselves, are they meant to support another activity which brings me greater fulfillment, or are they simply reactive actions that allow me to continue reacting to more phenomena? Personally, I enjoy writing and a few other hobbies, so that’s what I do all that for, although I have at times burned the candle at both ends in service of a goal I believed to be worthy and fulfilling. The discipline I reference is focusing on what it’s all for, rather than doing things just for perpetuation, so that the routine actions take on subjective value, and they are not valueless reactions for the mere sake of physical perpetuation. With a focus on what will fulfill me, routine actions make sense (or don’t) in the scope of my day. It needn’t be grand–you stated that it’s tied to your perception of self-worth (to be less of a slob and a laggard) and I think that’s perfectly fine. Sometimes, the reason behind what we do won’t be justifiably apparent, and it’s led by a tug of intuition that develops into a fully formed rationale only in retrospect.

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  5. Maybe ‘discipline’ could be interpreted as ‘remembering our choices’, in which case the only drag is when we have chosen a path that’s goes against our natural instincts. In that event, we’ll keep getting the conflict of wishing to do something we’ve chosen not to do. However, if we remember the choice strongly enough, then the wish behind the choice will also re-enter our current state, making it easier to keep to our choice, and not feel regret about what our instinct tells us we may be missing. Even ‘duty’ should have a good outcome behind it: something for which we genuinely wish. Mechanical discipline, without such a wish, can also leave us with many regrets.

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    • I fully agree. I think of it as being aligned and focused on our fulfillment, which brings clarity and calibrates our desires so that they don’t seem contraindicative of our instincts.

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  6. This “…where (I) constantly force myself to do what I hate (which I have spent decades doing),” is often (overly) thematic in your fiction. To come to grips with it, instead of continuing to flog it into a state of personal understanding, remember the weight of words. “Hate” weighs a fuckton. Change your personal vocabulary, change the weight of yesterday and tomorrow. If all is embraced, all is satisfactory. However don’t mess with your fiction vocab because that has nothing to do with anything. Since quotes are flying, here’s a simple one to ponder as it blatantly describes the barrier between “try” and “be.”
    “I don’t want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ”
    ― George Balanchine
    If it ain’t real, to you, fuck it.

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  8. This reminds me of the quote by Jerry Seinfeld:

    “The blessing in life is when you find the torture you are comfortable with. That’s marriage, it’s kids, it’s work, it’s exercise. Find the torture you’re comfortable with and you’ll do well. You’ve mastered that, you’ve mastered life.”

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