Tag: poetry
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Yet another weird ad for my novels
“Yes, that’s it, Kent…” Professor X’s furrowed brow gets extra furrowed as he intently oversees my mutant power training. “Control it…CONTROL IT…” “NYAARGH!” My wiener slips away and boi-oi-oings around the Danger Room, smashing and cracking the walls and deck. “God DAMMIT!” I sink to my knees and hammer-fist the floor. “Why have I been…
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Give my books a read and a review!
What the dick-smear is happening, all you vengeance-minded folk who see your boss’s unattended coffee cup so you give the rim a swipe of your spicy-musky nether-bits—SQWWEEEEEEEP—and restrain your giggles as your boss raises the mug to their lips, then gives you an evil-ass smile and says they’ve been cumming on your door handle and…
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Musings
In my experience, the stories we tell ourselves (about ourselves) are some of the most powerful spells we can cast on our behavior and perceived quality of life. That’s why I think it’s productive to look inward, and examine what I’d like to adopt as a narrative.
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Yet another weird ad for my novels
Grammar Nazi Prime races ahead of me. “Victory is mine!” He snatches Aladdin’s Lamp and gives me the finger. “Now you will pay for besmirching grammar and diction!” “Wait!” I extend a hand. “You don’t have to—” The lamp emits a blinding flash. AFTER SPACE-TIME CALMS BACK DOWN… What the…someone taped me to the back…
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Give my books a read and a review!
What the pissing contest is happening, all you urinary warriors who find yourself facing off against your penile archnemesis at the most primal of arenas (side-by-side urinals), it’s off to the races, you start with a moderate stream, he matches it, you increase 10 PSI, he matches it, 10 more PSI, he matches it, sweat…
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Give my books a read and a review!
What the jerk-a-thon is happening, all you dickbeaters who’ve shot load after load and drained yourself down to the last remaining iota of life force, you now resemble that old lady from Titanic who goes “It’s been 84 years” but you keep whacking and shooting until your wiener looks like the beef jerky version of…
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Musings
Ironically, I find my optimal state of self-perception arises from stillness and present-moment focus (where the perception is directed away from the surface self, and arguably allows a visceral perception of the greater self). A sense of well-being spontaneously arises, without any prompting whatsoever, which leads to me feeling good about myself for no tangible…
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Give my books a read and a review!
What the dick-cheese is happening, all you well-washed folks who’ve come across that dude we all fucking know that hoards smelly human dairy within their cracks and crevices and now they’ve gone full-on supervillain and decided to leap into the tristate water reservoir, it leads a top-ranking general to look you gravely in the eye…
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Musings
In my experience, the quality and direction of my inner state is a big determinant of whether or not I enjoy my life. Outwardly, I may have to oppose or contradict, out of practicality or imminent concern. If that comes from a place of shortage–desire to control, out of insecurity or egotism (maybe they’re the…
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Give my books a read and a review!
What the apoca-shit is happening, all my fellow poopers who’ve eaten too much spiciness and are now exerting Keanu Reeves-worthy levels of strain on the toilet, trying to get out all the nasties but it’s gone too far, your eternal soul is crowning from the rim of your dirt-star, it screams at you in its…
Kent Wayne 