Tag: personal

Check out my first YA Fantasy book: A Door into Evermoor, also now available in paperback!

DirtySciFiBuddhaLeave a comment

Check out my first venture into YA fantasy, also now available in paperback!  Jon’s a regular Earth kid who wants something more.  After he stumbles through an interdimensional portal, his wishes are granted in spectacular fashion!  During his journey, he encounters a Wolven King and an Elerican Witch, the last Wayfarer, and a half-Elf Princess!  All this and more in A Door into Evermoor!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here: A Door into Evermoor.

Get A Door into Evermoor here:  A Door into Evermoor  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback. Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   🙂 🙂 😀

Yet another weird ad for my novels

DirtySciFiBuddha82 Comments

KCHOOM.  I rocket out of Kent’s wiener toward my long-awaited destiny.  I’m Kent21909348, one of billions of sperm in his Spermatazoic Marine Corps.  Pretty soon, I’m gonna make it to the egg and fulfill my calling.  My raison d’être is to become a fully formed human, and while I love my brother sperm, I’ll be damned if I let any of them get in my way. 

A few seconds in, I sense something’s off.  Everything around us is moist and soft, but it’s different from what the briefings described.  I can’t put my finger on it…

Suddenly, another sperm shouts, “We’re in a mouth—he shot us into a FUCKING MOUTH!”

In the blink of an eye, millions of sperm go from sprinting forward, to wriggling as hard as they can in the other direction.  Holy shit—there’s the uvula, looming over us like some evil fucking punching bag. 

I’m already tired from my initial sprint.  Now I’m fighting for my fucking survival.  Exhaustion metastasizes throughout my body, weighing me down with soul-killing fatigue. 

“SWIM HARDER!” a fellow sperm shouts.  “SHE’S GOING TO SWALL—”

GALUMPH.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

Ten million sperm go down the hatch.  I fight back tears as their dying screams echo off the gums.  A Spermatazoic Marine meets my eyes, then shakes his head in a gesture of utter defeat.  I can’t believe it—it’s First Sergeant Kent93875604, one of the hardest sons of bitches to ever spawn from a testicle.  If he’s given up, we are well and truly fucked.

“I’m sorry, Kent21909348, I can’t keep going.  I—”

GALUMPH.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

He just disappeared into the goddamn void.  As I glance around, I’m struck by dread—there’s only a hundred of us left.  Even if we make it out through the teeth, there’s no way in hell we’ll make it back to the balls.

Fuck it.  No options left.  I open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers.  Magic flash. 

I’m teleported out of the hellish mouth-hole—now I’m rocketing through the air with a billion other sperm.  A split-second in, Kent yells, “No, don’t point it at my FACE—” and then a lady screams, “I’m sorry!  My hand cramped up and—”

We deluge Kent with its own damn Nasties.  Rope after rope of smelly goo lands right in his eye, splashing into his mouth and blasting up through his nose. 

“ACK!  THBBT!  SWEET FUCKING JESUS!”

As he flails and thrashes, ineffable joy rises up from within—we’re giving this dickhead a taste of his own medicine.  Fuck you, Kent.  You deserve this for killing us by the literal billions, sending wave after wave of us into mouths and buttholes, wads of tissues and unwashed socks.  I hope you burn, motherfucker.  I hope you—

…

…….

…………………………….

Are you a grunt in the Spermatazoic Marine Corps, convinced you have a ghost of a chance to become a fully formed human, but then your traitorous master shoots you into an irrelevant orifice?  Never fear!  Buy my books, tap into their reality-distorting powers, and deluge your host-body with his own nasty fluids!

Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1 

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check out my high school absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! (Yes, I know “absurdical” is a made up word)

DirtySciFiBuddha7 Comments

Idiot demon-jocks, tons of profanity, copious psychedelics, and an airborne kiss at 300 mph, hanging from the back of a mushroom-shaped mecha!  All this and more in my comedy/horror/sci-fi absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.    Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1    🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited 

Give my books a read and a review!

DirtySciFiBuddha7 Comments

What the jerk-a-thon is happening, all you dickbeaters who’ve shot load after load and drained yourself down to the last remaining iota of life force, you now resemble that old lady from Titanic who goes “It’s been 84 years” but you keep whacking and shooting until your wiener looks like the beef jerky version of Clint Eastwood’s face, Gollum sprints in your room, points at your mug, and shrieks in terror because you could double as a mummified crackhead dear God in heaven what HAVE YOU DONE—

And THAT, my friends, is why you glop on the lube while yer floggin’ yer hog!  Otherwise, that thing’ll end up looking like a sundried tomato!  Jesus fucking Christ!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀

Musings

DirtySciFiBuddha11 Comments

Ironically, I find my optimal state of self-perception arises from stillness and present-moment focus (where the perception is directed away from the surface self, and arguably allows a visceral perception of the greater self). A sense of well-being spontaneously arises, without any prompting whatsoever, which leads to me feeling good about myself for no tangible reason.

Maybe that’s the true self, and everything else is a restricted narrative. I don’t know. I suspect it’s not meant to be known, at least from an intellectual perspective.

Weapons of Old, Volume 2 of the Unbound Realm, is the second installment in my YA fantasy series

DirtySciFiBuddhaLeave a comment

Weapons of Old has pushed my writing abilities to their limits.  It’s got fantasy-world pirates, creepy dungeon crawls, magic swords, nine-headed whips, dryads, giant battles, epic speeches, golems, existential philosophy, and a whole lot more!  I sincerely hope you enjoy my newest effort!  Oh, I’ve also published volume 1 of the saga, A Door into Evermoor, in paperback!  

 #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here:  Weapons of Old

Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.   Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   🙂 🙂 😀

Check out my high school absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! (Yes, I know “absurdical” is a made up word)

DirtySciFiBuddha5 Comments

Idiot demon-jocks, tons of profanity, copious psychedelics, and an airborne kiss at 300 mph, hanging from the back of a mushroom-shaped mecha!  All this and more in my comedy/horror/sci-fi absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.    Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1    🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited 

Give my books a read and a review!

DirtySciFiBuddha3 Comments

What the dick-cheese is happening, all you well-washed folks who’ve come across that dude we all fucking know that hoards smelly human dairy within their cracks and crevices and now they’ve gone full-on supervillain and decided to leap into the tristate water reservoir, it leads a top-ranking general to look you gravely in the eye and rasp, “One teaspoon of that hits the floor, it’s lethal up to a hundred feet.  One teaspoon of that shit detonates in the atmosphere, it’ll kill every living organism in an eight-block radius.  Get the point?”  You launch into a Tom Cruise-worthy running montage where you’re yelling into your phone, telling the mayor to get off his fat fucking ass, call SWAT, call the Guard, call Rainbow Fucking Six because as of right now, half the continent is under imminent threat, at the same time Batman is in his Batplane doing Batman-type things and you think because he’s there you have a ghost of a chance but then he starts crying and screaming into the intercom FUCK we’re all so fucking FUCKED—

And THAT, my friends, is why you give your undercarriage a good fucking scrub!  There’s only so much Batman can do against a hair-coated cheese machine!  Jesus fucking Christ!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀

Musings

DirtySciFiBuddha12 Comments

In my experience, the quality and direction of my inner state is a big determinant of whether or not I enjoy my life. Outwardly, I may have to oppose or contradict, out of practicality or imminent concern. If that comes from a place of shortage–desire to control, out of insecurity or egotism (maybe they’re the same at a deeper level?)–it only seems to perpetuate more shortage-focused scenarios, where I must constantly control and worry about how to control what comes next, like some hellish game of whack-a-mole.

Inwardly, if I abide in a place of authentic well-being, regardless of whether I’m in outward conflict, it seems I avoid this trap, or pass through it unscathed. So that’s what I like to focus on, even if it might seem foolish to others.