Tag: humor

My name’s Kent Wayne:  Eleven-Year-Old Extraordinaire.  President of the Chess Club, Commissioner of Hallway Monitors, and Regional Spelling Bee Champion. I run my school, in other words. But this is sixth grade—elementary-grade rules no longer apply.  Puberty has reared its ugly head, striking ninety percent of the student body.  Wouldn’t be a problem if everyone’s…

After I suffered a heart-attack-by-orgasm (BEST way to die, HEH heh heh!) and ditched my human meat body, I reincarnated as a Labrador puppy.  Right now I’m zoomin’ and chewin’, humping up a storm.  GodDAMN is it good to be a canine! Hump the owner’s leg!  Ha HA!  Hump the neighbor’s cat!  Ho HO!  Lick…

One beer, two beer, three beer, four beer… DEVIANCE ENSUES!     Huh?  What the fuck?  Last thing I remember was chugging beers with a gang of rowdy soccer moms, screaming at me to whip it out and twirl it over my head like a fleshy lasso, but then I started drinking, and… “Murrrgh…”  I…

Where am I?  Last thing I remember was my family gathering ’round, ready to pull my plug after a long battle with terminal illness… “Use the Force, Luke.” I look to my right and gape in astonishment.  It’s Obi Wan Kenobi, in astral form!  I look down at my transparent, light-infused body and my eyes…

By the pimple-free taint!!!  Today is the LAST day that Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition!  Hold off on writing your post-apocalypse dystopia, replete with four-armed cannibals and dickburgers with cheese, and go tell everybody!  WHOOO!!! I’ll be posting a variant of this ad in the morning and afternoon until the sale ends…

By the Predator-mouthed vajeen!!!  Today is the LAST day that Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition are $0.99!  Stop contemplating the deep and unshakable horror of burping up sperm (I wanna hear “sperm-burper” used in a comedic context somewhere, dammit) and go tell everybody!  WHOOO!!! I’ll be posting a variant of this ad…

By the fiery-feeling frenulum that inspires a panicked doctor’s visit!!!  Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition are $0.99 for today and tomorrow!  Quit arranging your lawn gnomes into jaw-droppingly original pornographic poses, and go tell everybody!  WHOOO!!! I’ll be posting a variant of this ad in the morning and afternoon until the sale…

By the Predator-mouthed vajeen!!!  Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition are $0.99 for today and tomorrow!  Finish practicing your T-rex roar while dooking a #2 (yes it’s disgusting, but trust me, it gets laughs, even through a closed door), and go tell everybody!  WHOOO!!! I’ll be posting a variant of this ad in…

BorgStop YerDoobenHausen!!!  Today is the LAST day that Echo 1 is FREE!  Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition are $0.99 for three more days! Sprint through your local Renaissance Fair as a pantsless Jedi, snarling at everybody as you mind-fuck their swords-and-sorcery vibe with your bare ass and humzinger lightsaber, and go tell…

BlikBlok NerPooberJoob!!!  Today is the LAST day that Echo 1 is FREE!  Echo 2, 3, 4, and Echo 1 & 2 Combined Edition are $0.99 for three more days!  Draw one last penis onto your bald, slumbering friend’s head, thus completing your penis-mural masterpiece, and go tell everybody!  WHOOO!!! I’ll be posting a variant of this ad in…