Category: Musings

Others’ standards are a way to explore potential and appreciate life. They’re not an excuse to condemn myself as a failure, and wallow in a morass of unproductive self-flagellation. I believe others who judge you–while they may applaud or denounce you for following or rejecting their checklist–can never give you lasting fulfillment. Only you can…

Whenever I stumble, it’s a chance to glimpse a better path. Maybe not for months or even years, but when I look back now, my mistakes have, by and large, not been a waste. That makes it easier to keep positive in turbulence. In the end, I’m going to die regardless of what happens. Until…

Sometimes, ceasing to care is the fastest way into positivity. Instead of forcing it, flagellating myself for negative thoughts, or stressing over every little development, an internal surrender into “it is what it is” or “I’ve been here before and it turned out all right” or even “we’re all going to die anyway” can ease…

I’ve been consistently reminded that I can be absolutely miserable when good things are going to happen–I’ve become angry and short-tempered while they were unfolding, simply because they weren’t occurring instantaneously. Then I began thinking–even if my life was full of enjoyable certainties, I could make myself miserable as I waited for them to unfold,…

There’s a parable about a drowning man who claims God will save him, and refuses any ships that offer to help. After he dies, he asks God why he was left to drown, to which God replies he sent a bunch of ships. Personally, I think there’s a more insidious version of the parable. Instead…

Whenever I obsess over the end result, I miss opportunities for better outcomes, things spin out of control, or–in the rare instance when everything goes according to plan–I either fail to appreciate the win, or my enjoyment of victory feels short and muted. The reminder to enjoy the journey is not only practical–it keeps me…

Releasing negativity is a tricky endeavor. In the past, I’ve forced positivity in an effort to shake off the negative, but the ensuing resistance only strengthened the negative. So I try and emphasize the acceptance part–it’s okay to feel whatever I feel. It’s a natural reaction. And that focus on acceptance, for me, is the…

As I’ve grown older, I’ve shifted from railing against being stuck to seeing it as an illusion, since circumstances can’t help but dissolve and change (into death and release, if nothing else). My frustration with being stuck, however, can feel uncomfortably real. That can be leavened through my ability to reframe the situation, by my…

I’ve concluded that arguing with negativity-oriented people–those who use creativity and rationale to consistently redirect focus back onto negativity–is a waste of time. Nothing you say or do will be good enough; the best you can do is temporarily quiet them with tangible results. Even then, they’ll eventually find a way to rationalize your efforts…

When I was hellbent on fighting and pushing against events, I would every so often stumble onto peace and contentment. Later, I realized that it was a result of giving up my internal fight–of accepting my emotions and letting them be. While I might have still been outwardly striving, I felt my perception was where…