Tag: writing

Give my books a read and a review!

DirtySciFiBuddha6 Comments

What the miniature civilization is happening, all you non-plucking laggards who let your ear hair grow to preposterous lengths, drum-beating subsistence hunters emerge from the tangle and begin making the trek down to your pubes where a matching set of tribes prowl your nasty-bits landscape, holy shit they’re going to war on your torso, littering your belly button and happy trail with rusted weapons and decomposing skulls, you let them keep fighting because they’re a welcome diversion in between beating your meat and eating nachos off your chest, wait, hold on, it looks like the ear-folks are starting to win, MOTHER OF FUCK THEY’VE KILLED THE PUBIC DEFENDERS AND TIED YOUR WIENER DOWN WITH ROPES AND STAKES IN PREPARATION FOR RITUAL SACRIFICE, YOUR DICK THRASHES BACK AND FORTH AND MOANS LIKE A DYING WHALE WHY DIDN’T YOU BACK THE GODDAMN PUBE-TRIBES AH GOD WHY—

And THAT, my friends, is why you give your ear hairs a periodic plucking!  You never know when heathen-ass savages will emerge from the growth and threaten your dick with bone-spears and spit-roasts!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀

Check out my sci-fi series: Echo!

DirtySciFiBuddha2 Comments

Echo is where I started my writing journey. The series has four books, and is filled with musings on society and existence, along with big doses of violence (especially in book 2) as well as psychic stuff and existential philosophy (book 3 and 4). You can see me get a firmer grip on dialogue, description, action, perspective, and symbolism as you progress through the series. #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Here’s the link: Echo.

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve also published it in paperback!  Get it here:  A Door into Evermoor, paperbackGet Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀    

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜   #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited #WritingCommunity

Musings

DirtySciFiBuddha26 Comments

It’s easy to argue we’re stuck in a zero-sum existence. However, no one has definitively explained the nature of our reality, the fundamental truth behind consciousness, quantum phenomena, and whether or not we’re stuck in a simulation. In other words, there’s still a lot of wiggle room that allows us to choose our individual perspective. So on occasion, I may have to pretend I’m a crab in a bucket, but I refuse to believe I must always be paranoid, that I always have to watch out for the other shoe to drop, that I need to step on others and prevent their ascent so I can wallow in my relative height.

I think of the real estate in my mind as exclusively mine, so instead of planting seeds of fear and insecurity, constantly reacting to an overgrowth of negativity, I’d rather be present and stay open to opportunities that bloom in my path.

Weapons of Old, Volume 2 of the Unbound Realm, is the second installment in my YA fantasy series

DirtySciFiBuddhaLeave a comment

Weapons of Old has pushed my writing abilities to their limits.  It’s got fantasy-world pirates, creepy dungeon crawls, magic swords, nine-headed whips, dryads, giant battles, epic speeches, golems, existential philosophy, and a whole lot more!  I sincerely hope you enjoy my newest effort!  Oh, I’ve also published volume 1 of the saga, A Door into Evermoor, in paperback!  

 #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here:  Weapons of Old

Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.   Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!🙂 🙂 😀

Yet another weird ad for my novels

DirtySciFiBuddha11 Comments

Grammar Nazi Prime, in all his jawline-devoid, receded-hair glory, slaps my face with my own flaccid wiener.  “I’ve dreamt of this occasion multiple times.  Now is the winter of my discontent.”

“Ack!  PHHBBT!”  I strain against the zipties binding me to the chair.  “It’s because yours is the size of a frost-bitten acorn, you imagination-stifling degenerate!”

“Perhaps.”  He grinds my dickhole into my eyes, causing me to swivel from side to side—“Blech!  GROSS!”—in a desperate attempt to escape my own womb-hammer.  “Nevertheless, I won’t let trivialities detract from my victory.  Now.  Let us conclude with the coup de grace.” 

Wh-PAP!  My glans hit me with brutal force, mushroom-stamping me across the cheek.  Wh-pap-pap-PAP!  Concussive strikes rock my vision.  For an alarming moment, the world goes blurry.

“Is there some way to…”  He starts fiddling with the shaft.  “How do you unleash your repulsive semen?  There would be no greater irony than drowning you in your own disgusting testicular yogurt…”

“It’ll never work for you,” I spit out a mouthful of blood and phlegm.  “It’s for soccer moms only, you red-ink-huffing, story-killing fuck.”

“No matter.”  He starts swinging the end, building up momentum so he can beat me to death with my own weighty-ass meat.  “This will have to do.”

Fuck it.  No options left.  So I rip an arm free, reach into the trousers puddled by my feet, and open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers.  Magic flash. 

A Werther’s Original appears on the tip of my forefinger and thumb.  I instantly grasp the reason behind it:  Werthers are coveted by decrepit-ass fucks who live to nitpick and shake their fists at clouds (I don’t make the rules, that’s just how it is—you know it, I know it, the entire fucking world knows it.  When’s the last time you saw an energetic visionary sucking on a goddamn Werther’s Original?)

I flick the grumpy-codger candy into the air.  Grammar Nazi Prime follows it with his gaze, eyes wide, lips parted, and murmurs, “Werther’s…” in a slack-brained tone that would put Homer Simpson to shame. 

While he’s occupied, I squinch my eyes shut and visualize a montage of scenes from myfriendshotmom dot com.  My wiener rips free of Grammar Nazi’s fingers, lifts its dicklips up to the sky, and issues a terrifying, bone-shaking roar.  Then it deluges him with a torrent of gametes.

“AGHHH!  PHHBBBTTT!!!”  He shields his face with his arms, but he might as well be trying to hold back Niagara fucking Falls.  A second later, he tries to run, but my dick ratchets up the pressure, driving him face-first into the ground.  With tremendous effort, he muscles up on his knees…then flattens onto the concrete deck. 

“DAMN YOU, KENT WAYNE!  DAMN YOU TO—”  The rest of it’s lost in a maelstrom of jizz. 

Once he’s unconscious, I wind my cock around my thigh and tuck it back into my sock.  Kent Wayne wins again!  HEH heh heh!

😀

Has a low-down Grammar Nazi tied you up in an abandoned warehouse, then assaulted you with your own award-winning genitals?  Never fear!  Buy my books and drown him in gametes! 

Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check out my high school absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! (Yes, I know “absurdical” is a made up word)

DirtySciFiBuddha493 Comments

Idiot demon-jocks, tons of profanity, copious psychedelics, and an airborne kiss at 300 mph, hanging from the back of a mushroom-shaped mecha!  All this and more in my comedy/horror/sci-fi absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited 

Give my books a read and a review!

DirtySciFiBuddha97 Comments

What the unintended facial is happening, all you meatbeaters who are reveling in a weed-pizza-and-Netflix-induced haze, flogging your wiener without a care in the world whilst lounging around in a Big Lebowski-style robe when suddenly your nemesis from work crashes into your bedroom, grabs your shaft right as you bust, points it at your eyes, and—

“No don’t HRRRGGGLLHHHGPP—”

—deluges your mug with your own gross load, coating your features in a barrage of testicular glue, under normal circumstances you would beat their fucking ass but not when you’re blinded by a Spiderman-worthy glob of nut-spawned cement, dear God in heaven it smells like WET SOCKS AND ASSHOLE MARINADE—

And THAT, my friends, is why you never let your guard down and when you’re beating your meat!  Stay in that samurai masturbatory Mushin, so that as soon as you’re attacked, you’ll throw a no-thought backsweep, pin em with a knee on belly, and blow your load into their treacherous face! 

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀

Check out my sci-fi series: Echo!

DirtySciFiBuddha1 Comment

Echo is where I started my writing journey. The series has four books, and is filled with musings on society and existence, along with big doses of violence (especially in book 2) as well as psychic stuff and existential philosophy (book 3 and 4). You can see me get a firmer grip on dialogue, description, action, perspective, and symbolism as you progress through the series. #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Here’s the link: Echo.

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve also published it in paperback!  Get it here:  A Door into Evermoor, paperbackGet Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀    

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜   #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited #WritingCommunity

Musings

DirtySciFiBuddha13 Comments

As much as my younger self would have argued and scoffed, I have come to believe the default state of the universe is positive and benevolent. Because when I succeed in emptying my mind, I don’t stay empty–a feeling of wellbeing inevitably follows, sometimes to the point of psychedelic bliss.

But that isn’t definitive according to data, experiments, or scrutinized theory, so it could easily be wrong. I just enjoy more fun and ease when I don’t have to be paranoid, constantly guarding against a malicious or random existence. At this point, I no longer care if it’s outwardly foolish, I’d rather abide in trust and fulfillment.

Check out my first YA Fantasy book: A Door into Evermoor, also now available in paperback!

DirtySciFiBuddha6 Comments

Check out my first venture into YA fantasy, also now available in paperback!  Jon’s a regular Earth kid who wants something more.  After he stumbles through an interdimensional portal, his wishes are granted in spectacular fashion!  During his journey, he encounters a Wolven King and an Elerican Witch, the last Wayfarer, and a half-Elf Princess!  All this and more in A Door into Evermoor!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here: A Door into Evermoor.

Get A Door into Evermoor here:  A Door into Evermoor  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback. Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!🙂 🙂 😀