What the rescue-cock is happening, all you wrongly accused meatslingers who’ve been framed by sinister parties and find yourself in court as the judge summarizes why you’re legally fucked, after which they lower their spectacles, look over the brim at you and ask if you have anything to say, sweat beads across your brow, how the fuck did it come to this, then in a sudden burst of inspiration and rage you whip your summer-sausage penis onto the table—ka-THUNK—as a defiant reply to their pathetic arguments, the room bursts into chaos, a riot breaks out, the judge hammers with their gavel and screams for order, bailiffs move in to detain you but you twist your hips and crack a skull with your dick, jab the other one’s eye, grab one of their necks from behind as your giant wiener quivers before their face ready to inflict a horrific skullfucking, you scream back, BACK MOTHERFUCKERS, and edge toward the exit with your newfound hostage, it’s time to go full-on action movie and embark on a harrowing quest to apprehend the real villain and clear your fucking name—

And THAT, my friends, is why you pick your friends carefully!  Who knows if your so-called buddy—the very same one who’s joking around with you in the opening scene while secretly giving you dirty narrow-eyed looks—is plotting to frame you and try to steal your girl while you’re rotting in prison?  Fuck that guy!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀

What the penis-arm is happening, all you first-time gym-goers who start hitting the weights but you’re constantly trying not to exclaim, “Agh!” “Gross!” and other cries of disgust because you’re not sure whether these super-jacked meatheads are doing curls with blood-gorged arms or flexing a giant veiny wiener, after a while you get used to it but then one of them levels his hand/dickhead at you and unleashes a torrent of face-melting semen, you manage to snatch up a trash can lid and use it as a shield but in order to keep your balance you’ve got to lean into it with all your fucking weight, it’s like Captain America trying to withstand a Thanos-level blast, only a matter of time before it shatters your protection but the only choice you have is to hold your fucking ground NYAAAAAARRRGGGHHH—

And THAT, my friends, is why you stay the hell away from those inflated-ass weightlifters!  Who knows if that’s a penis or an arm or some hellish combination of both appendages? 

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀