Tag: writing

Give my books a read and a review!

DirtySciFiBuddha151 Comments

What the cum-dagger is happening, all you gross-ass beasts who splooge into the same damn sock for weeks on end, until it resembles a mythical crystal dagger that unlocks the secrets of the universe when placed into a magical groove in an ancient temple, suddenly you hear a click downstairs followed by muffled whispers, the steps creak under several pairs of feet, your door cracks open and three hooligans enter brandishing guns, swearing up and down that someone’s home and they saw a light in your room, where the fuck could you be they just saw you a goddamn second ago, unbeknownst to them you’re spread-eagled on the ceiling, clutching your cum-dagger and staring down at their heads, the second one says it doesn’t matter where you went, there’s three of them here, you’re outnumbered and cornered, to which you rasp, “I’m not trapped in here with you, you’re trapped in here with ME!” then drop onto the closest one’s back and stab his eyes with your cum-dagger, as he’s screaming for his mom and clutching the air, you spin around, slice his partner’s throat, then jam the crusty sock into the last one’s mouth and whirl into a 540 jump-spin-hook kick, smashing the shit out of his jaw and shattering the cum-crystals in his mouth which causes his eyes to go red with burst blood vessels, as he drops to his knees you loom over him and declare, “Anyone home?  Guess not.  Light’s out, motherfucker.”  What do you know—hitting a double 80s one-liner that references the fact that they saw someone home and a turned-on light, combined with a dose of cartoonish martial arts violence, somehow triggers a rock-hard erection!  Time to start building a new cum-sock/dagger!

THAT, my friends, is why you don’t wash your cum-sock until it’s hardened into a lethal crystalline weapon!  Never know when you gotta take out some amateur criminals!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀

Check out my sci-fi series: Echo!

DirtySciFiBuddha5 Comments

Echo is where I started my writing journey. The series has four books, and is filled with musings on society and existence, along with big doses of violence (especially in book 2) as well as psychic stuff and existential philosophy (book 3 and 4). You can see me get a firmer grip on dialogue, description, action, perspective, and symbolism as you progress through the series. #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Here’s the link: Echo.

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve also published it in paperback!  Get it here:  A Door into Evermoor, paperbackGet Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀    

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜   #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited #WritingCommunity

Musings

DirtySciFiBuddha20 Comments

I think of challenges as dips in the road. If I hit them at the right angle and speed, I get to fly for a bit, maybe shift over onto a better track. I also might crash and get stuck, but maybe I can dig up a diamond or find something cool on the pavement beneath me.

Is that foolish? Maybe. False? Possibly. All I knows that it makes life much more enjoyable for me.

Check out my first YA Fantasy book: A Door into Evermoor, also now available in paperback!

DirtySciFiBuddha4 Comments

Check out my first venture into YA fantasy, also now available in paperback!  Jon’s a regular Earth kid who wants something more.  After he stumbles through an interdimensional portal, his wishes are granted in spectacular fashion!  During his journey, he encounters a Wolven King and an Elerican Witch, the last Wayfarer, and a half-Elf Princess!  All this and more in A Door into Evermoor!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here: A Door into Evermoor.

Get A Door into Evermoor here:  A Door into Evermoor  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback. Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!🙂 🙂 😀

Yet another weird ad for my novels

DirtySciFiBuddha9 Comments

A deep, aggro voice bellows, “Knock fucking knock!”  It’s accompanied by rude-ass banging—someone beating the hell out of my condo door. 

“What the fuck?”  I open my door.  A dozen dude-bros in shitty costumes eye me with disdain. 

“Trick or fucking treat,” the first one grunts.  He thrusts out a trash bag.  “Fill ’er up, fuckstain.”

I regard them all with doubt and skepticism.  “You’re in your twenties.  Half of you are rocking a five-o-clock shadow.”  My eyes settle on their leader.  “And you’ve got a full-on beard.” 

“Just give us the candy, goddammit!  What’re you, a fucking socialist???” he snarls. 

I cross my arms.  “Do I believe government should own all means of production?  No.  Do I believe in an ethically oriented balance of power between private ownership and public services that maintains dignity at the lowest levels, while providing opportunity and access to innovators, hard workers, and risk-takers?  Yes.” 

His face goes blank.  “What does that have to do with…”  Then he shouts, “Fuck this guy!  USA!  USA!”  His neander-fuck friends take up the chant.  “USA!  USA!”  He rips off his shirt, Hulk Hogan style, and screams, “GIVE ME THE CANDDDYYYYYY!!!”

As they charge, I fart into my hand, fling it at the horde, and yell, “Cup a’ cheese, bitches!”  Two of them stumble, gagging and clutching their desecrated throats.  In the span of a second, their hair goes white and their faces age several decades. 

Another throws a jab and a cross.  I parry the jab, slip the cross, and fake an overhand.  He braces and blocks, which opens the window for me to shoot in, clinch his waist, and roar with unchecked skull-crushing fury—

“FUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKK YOOOOUUUUUU!!!”

—right before I suplex his ass into the floor.  Unfortunately, the rest of his buddies catch me in the scramble and pin me down. 

Fuck it.  No options left.  So I reach in my pocket and open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers.  Magic flash. 

Their hot-ass moms jump through an interdimensional portal and start beating and haranguing their douche-bro sons.  Some of them have predictable-as-fuck names—Hunter, Brayden, Chastin, Ashford—but a bunch have regular monikers that I would bet my dick are purposefully misspelled:  Jayson, Qris, Patrikk, and the like.

Pretty soon, the horde of douche-fucks are scattered across my condo hallway.   Their moms stand me up and immediately start groping me. 

“Mom?”  Hunter’s eyes widen in disbelief.  “What the hell???”

“This here’s a top-shelf Man Whore!” she crows.  “You think we’d let you injure his upcurved dick?  Absolutely not!”

Brayden’s mom hikes up her skirt and gets on her knees, inviting me to slide right on in.  Invitation accepted!  As I pump away, slappity-slap-slapping, I meet Brayden’s eyes and raise my hand in a triumphant shaka.  “Shit’s tight, brah!  Thanks for not wrecking it on your way out!”

“No!  AH GOD NOOOOOOOO!!!!”  He clutches the air and rages at the sky. 

I accompany my cavorting with saucy beatboxing, heavily influenced by seventies-era bow-chicka-wow-wow.  The rest of them ugly-cry like Will Ferrell at his mid-2000s best, vomit on the deck, or get on their knees and prepare to commit seppuku. 

Yeah, I hate douche-bros, but I can’t say the same for their fine-ass moms.  Those ladies comprise the majority of my clientele…I like to call it the duality of Man Whore. 

Anyways, fuck it (literally, in this case).  Kent Wayne wins again!  HEH heh heh!

😀

Have twenty-something hooligans tried to bully you into giving them handfuls of candy?  Never fear!  Buy my books, summon their moms, and destroy their souls with a vigorous round of shlorpa-shlorp-shlorp! 

Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check out my high school absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! (Yes, I know “absurdical” is a made up word)

DirtySciFiBuddha6 Comments

Idiot demon-jocks, tons of profanity, copious psychedelics, and an airborne kiss at 300 mph, hanging from the back of a mushroom-shaped mecha!  All this and more in my comedy/horror/sci-fi absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.    Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited 

Give my books a read and a review!

DirtySciFiBuddha4 Comments

What the sky-hook-to-helo-to-horseback-to-the-top-of-a-bullet-train duel is happening, all you badass action heroes who are throwing hands with a pony-tailed villain from the early 90s, as the train screams through a darkened tunnel it emerges onto a picturesque rail hundreds of feet above water but for some godawful action movie reason, it’s running out of track, so as your enemy chokes the shit out of you, you unzip your pants, reach in through the hole in the front of your undies (Ha!  Knew it had a purpose!) and pull out your giant-ass scrotum as if it was an extra wrinkly, extra hairy version of a magician’s unending scarf—

FOOMP!

—then grab them shits with both hands and turn it into an impromptu parachute, the wind yanks you back into the sunny blue sky, your attacker shakes his fist and screams DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU TO HELL as you soar away on the ugliest organ spawned by the human body while coming in hot with an 80s-style one-liner (“No balls,” and “Sack the fuck up” come to mind) the train bows again to action movie physics and explodes into a fucking mushroom-cloud fireball right as it touches the water below—

And THAT, my friends, is why you don’t talk shit about the hole in your undies!  Who the fuck knows when you’ll have to pull out the scrotal parachute and break free from the grasp of a eurotrash villain???

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀

Check out my sci-fi series: Echo!

DirtySciFiBuddha9 Comments

Echo is where I started my writing journey. The series has four books, and is filled with musings on society and existence, along with big doses of violence (especially in book 2) as well as psychic stuff and existential philosophy (book 3 and 4). You can see me get a firmer grip on dialogue, description, action, perspective, and symbolism as you progress through the series. #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Here’s the link: Echo.

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve also published it in paperback!  Get it here:  A Door into Evermoor, paperbackGet Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀    

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜   #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited #WritingCommunity

Musings

DirtySciFiBuddha14 Comments

While acknowledging an outcome, I find it useful to internally allow my emotional reaction to that outcome, even if it’s an antagonistic expression, such as anger or avoidance. If I try to jump straight to acceptance, I often leave an unresolved tangle of conflicting emotions, which nag and exhaust me if I fail to process them out.

Weapons of Old, Volume 2 of the Unbound Realm, is the second installment in my YA fantasy series

DirtySciFiBuddhaLeave a comment

Weapons of Old has pushed my writing abilities to their limits.  It’s got fantasy-world pirates, creepy dungeon crawls, magic swords, nine-headed whips, dryads, giant battles, epic speeches, golems, existential philosophy, and a whole lot more!  I sincerely hope you enjoy my newest effort!  Oh, I’ve also published volume 1 of the saga, A Door into Evermoor, in paperback!  

 #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here:  Weapons of Old

Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.   Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!🙂 🙂 😀