Tag: Scifi

No one’s sure what the exact date is anymore; the only thing we all agree upon is that a number of years ago, Social Justice Warriors concentrated their idiocy using a Possibility Engine and ripped a hole into the fabric of reality.  I’m leading a band of rebels on a raid into the Halls of…

I’m running across a frozen tundra, fleeing from an army of soccer moms that have had enough of my stupid ads.  They’re in sleds that are leashed to packs of snarling husbands, half of whom are wearing Gimp masks.  Normally I ‘d be able to outrun a sled pulled by scrabbling suburbanites on all fours, but…

The Earth has been taken over by hordes of Emo-poets.  Under their dark rule the populace suffers a rain of soul-mashing mind-feces.  Waves of anti-life energy emanate from their mouths, turning steaks from medium-rare to well-done, and dogs into cats.  I’m fleeing their forces in a motorized skiff across the moonlit ocean, traveling parallel to…

The burger’s halfway to my mouth when it’s backhanded away.  Bread, veggies, and patty separate as they arc through the air and rebound off a wall.  I instinctively finish biting down, and blink in surprise when my teeth meet with a small click.  A bearded, pony-tailed face darts down, an inch away from mine, and…

The world’s collective consciousness has been invaded by a dark, nightmare-inducing entity called Grammar Nerd Shadow.  Every night for the past ten years, GNS has invaded the sleep of billions across the planet to insert asinine, pedantic corrections into any stories that the sleeping masses might be dreaming up.  I’ve been tapped to combat this heinous piece…

Thunder splits the sky.  I’m spending the weekend in a cabin with some buddies when we hear a knock.  We all flinch but try to hide it.  I get up and walk slowly toward the door.  My hands grasps the knob and I look back at my friends; they’re all looking at me with widened eyes.…