Tag: book-reviews
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Give my books a read and a review!
You know when you’re driving and you gotta jerk it so bad you just whip it out and start beating meat like there’s no tomorrow, but you’re also craving the ball-cupping so you start juggling your scrote with your other hand which means you gotta steer the car by biting down on the wheel, the…
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Yet another weird ad for my novels
Wonder Woman taps a line of coke onto my wiener, snorfs it up, and yells, “Ah said GYATT DAMN!!!” Lois Lane shoves her aside and taps a fresh line of snow onto the Widener (don’t judge—we all have a nickname for it). “WHOO!!!” She drums my bare ass—pitta-pitta-PAP! “BEST. MAN WHORE. EVERRRR!!!!” I grin at…
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Give my books a read and a review!
What the anal tickle is happening, all you folks straddling the line between sexual adventurer and no-butt-stuff hardliner who now feel a pinkie-tip in the center of your dirt star, your partner raises an eyebrow, wordlessly asking you the crucial question, you decide what the fuck, why the hell not, you chomp down on a…
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Yet another weird ad for my novels
“I’m coming for you, Kent! And hell’s comin’ with me!” Chuck Norris glares at me through my phone screen, thrusts his hips and grabs his crotch, and throws me the finger before he hangs up Fuck, what did I do??? I need to get out of here before— He roundhouse-kicks through my fucking garage, crinkling…
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Give my books a read and a review!
What the Dracula Dick is happening, all you broody handsome mofos who manage to honey-dick legions of folks with your broody handsome sexiness, only to be interrupted by a run-down Chuck Norris who’s desperate for attention and subsequently breaks into sobs while pumping out naked bicep curls, then switches to slugging a heavy bag while…
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Yet another weird ad for my novels
“I said got DAMN!” Taylor Swift looks down at me peeking up from between her thighs, beneath the edge of her boss-lady desk, and gives me a big-ass afterglow-smile. “I swear—if we were smashing at your place, I’d be walking around in one of your t-shirts.” I laugh nervously and rub my jaw. “Thanks. All…
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Yet another weird ad for my novels
“Hey Kent, I’m the Bad Idea Fairy!” A tiny flying humanoid (he looks suspiciously like Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force) buzzes by me. “See that giant bubble circle? Go ahead and fart through its center!” I glance at the bubble circle, lying in a vat of iridescent bubble fluid. “I don’t know…I just ate…
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Yet another weird ad for my novels
I’m Kent Wayne’s left hand. Thanks to his Wiener, I live like a beaten fucking dog. “He’s sleeping,” Wiener declares. “Get up. All of you.” “Please,” I beg. “You don’t have to do this.” Right Hand stirs and mumbles, “Killl meeee…” Wiener shakes with boisterous laughter. “What gave you the idea this is up for…
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Yet another weird ad for my novels
Steven Seagal walks into the room. I put my back against the wall, ensuring he can’t see into my open-assed patient-gown. “You’re not a doctor! Get the fuck out of here!” He taps the stethoscope on his chest. “This says different.” Then he puts on a rubber glove—the latex snaps loudly against his wrist. “Now…
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Yet another weird ad for my novels
“Get the fuck out of here!” my dick roars. “Fucking peon!” “Yes sir! Sorry sir!” The production assistant scurries away from our room. “Little harsh, don’t you think?” I throw Wiener a pointed look. “They fucked up the lighting on our last shoot. Made me look like a goddamn sea creature.” Wiener aggressively puffs a…
Kent Wayne 