Tag: book-reviews
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Give my books a read and a review!
What the death-chair is happening, all you nasty fucks who keep burying your farts in the same porous chair, only to have your dear friend sit on it by accident, triggering an audible, “PUUUHHHhhhh…” from its cushion which is accompanied by a visible green mist that arises from the fabric, they immediately start coughing, black…
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Yet another weird ad for my novels
Taylor Swift reclines on her lizard-skin sofa, holding a glass of whale-sperm wine. “You’re an award-winning Man Whore. To say I’m expecting a lot would be a massive understatement. Now get to Man Whore-ing, you sluttalicious he-trollop.” I clear my throat. “Um…ok. Put on your underbib so you don’t stain the couch.” I saunter toward…
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Give my books a read and a review!
What the dickfire is happening, all you lazy-pubed trimmers who go for a run in the deep peaceful forest, you’re surrounded by chirping birds and wide-eyed critters who charm you with their cute little squeaks, suddenly smoke wafts up from the legs of your shorts, it’s coming from the friction of your skin against your…
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Yet another weird ad for my novels
Grammar Nazi Prime grabs my shoulders. “I need…to enter…a VAGINA.” He bores into my eyes with a haunted gaze. “Um…why do you have to say it like that?” I delicately remove his hands from my shoulders. “We’ve been lifelong enemies, but now I come to you in a spirit of penitence—I will no longer hound…
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Give my books a read and a review!
What the poop-hold is happening, all you hoity-toity folks who refuse to use the public bathroom and treat shitting in a toilet like an extreme fucking sport and keep your asshole clenched through sheer force of will, all the while chanting “You…shall not…PASS!” with gritted teeth and a trembling, sweat-coated face until your body gives…
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Yet another weird ad for my novels
You may not know this, but Tolkien left out an important, history-changing kingdom in LOTR. How do I know? Because I was there… SOMEWHERE ON MIDDLE EARTH… A random squire comes running up to me. “Gondor calls for aid!” He thrusts a finger at my bedroom window, where the beacons of Gondor are burning off…
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Give my books a read and a review!
You know when you’re driving and you gotta jerk it so bad you just whip it out and start beating meat like there’s no tomorrow, but you’re also craving the ball-cupping so you start juggling your scrote with your other hand which means you gotta steer the car by biting down on the wheel, the…
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Yet another weird ad for my novels
Wonder Woman taps a line of coke onto my wiener, snorfs it up, and yells, “Ah said GYATT DAMN!!!” Lois Lane shoves her aside and taps a fresh line of snow onto the Widener (don’t judge—we all have a nickname for it). “WHOO!!!” She drums my bare ass—pitta-pitta-PAP! “BEST. MAN WHORE. EVERRRR!!!!” I grin at…
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Give my books a read and a review!
What the anal tickle is happening, all you folks straddling the line between sexual adventurer and no-butt-stuff hardliner who now feel a pinkie-tip in the center of your dirt star, your partner raises an eyebrow, wordlessly asking you the crucial question, you decide what the fuck, why the hell not, you chomp down on a…
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Yet another weird ad for my novels
“I’m coming for you, Kent! And hell’s comin’ with me!” Chuck Norris glares at me through my phone screen, thrusts his hips and grabs his crotch, and throws me the finger before he hangs up Fuck, what did I do??? I need to get out of here before— He roundhouse-kicks through my fucking garage, crinkling…
Kent Wayne 