Tag: book-reviews
-
Give my books a read and a review!
What the Ye Olden Cock is happening, all my fellow silver-haired fuck-machines who are capitalizing on the interest in distinguished old men but when you finally get with a woman you have to start explaining the old balls smell and the liver-spotted taint and the creepy white ear hair that makes you look like Doc…
-
Yet another weird ad for my novels
“Yes, that’s it, Kent…” Professor X’s furrowed brow gets extra furrowed as he intently oversees my mutant power training. “Control it…CONTROL IT…” “NYAARGH!” My wiener slips away and boi-oi-oings around the Danger Room, smashing and cracking the walls and deck. “God DAMMIT!” I sink to my knees and hammer-fist the floor. “Why have I been…
-
Give my books a read and a review!
What the dick-smear is happening, all you vengeance-minded folk who see your boss’s unattended coffee cup so you give the rim a swipe of your spicy-musky nether-bits—SQWWEEEEEEEP—and restrain your giggles as your boss raises the mug to their lips, then gives you an evil-ass smile and says they’ve been cumming on your door handle and…
-
Yet another weird ad for my novels
Grammar Nazi Prime races ahead of me. “Victory is mine!” He snatches Aladdin’s Lamp and gives me the finger. “Now you will pay for besmirching grammar and diction!” “Wait!” I extend a hand. “You don’t have to—” The lamp emits a blinding flash. AFTER SPACE-TIME CALMS BACK DOWN… What the…someone taped me to the back…
-
Give my books a read and a review!
What the pissing contest is happening, all you urinary warriors who find yourself facing off against your penile archnemesis at the most primal of arenas (side-by-side urinals), it’s off to the races, you start with a moderate stream, he matches it, you increase 10 PSI, he matches it, 10 more PSI, he matches it, sweat…
-
Yet another weird ad for my novels
KCHOOM. I rocket out of Kent’s wiener toward my long-awaited destiny. I’m Kent21909348, one of billions of sperm in his Spermatazoic Marine Corps. Pretty soon, I’m gonna make it to the egg and fulfill my calling. My raison d’être is to become a fully formed human, and while I love my brother sperm, I’ll be…
-
Give my books a read and a review!
What the jerk-a-thon is happening, all you dickbeaters who’ve shot load after load and drained yourself down to the last remaining iota of life force, you now resemble that old lady from Titanic who goes “It’s been 84 years” but you keep whacking and shooting until your wiener looks like the beef jerky version of…
-
Give my books a read and a review!
What the dick-cheese is happening, all you well-washed folks who’ve come across that dude we all fucking know that hoards smelly human dairy within their cracks and crevices and now they’ve gone full-on supervillain and decided to leap into the tristate water reservoir, it leads a top-ranking general to look you gravely in the eye…
-
Yet another weird ad for my novels
“Look at these he-Whore!” Wonder Woman grabs my pecs, gives them both an appreciative heft, then sticks her tongue out for the camera as Lois snaps a couple pics. “Tight like bongos!” She drums them with horned-up coke-powered energy. “Damn straight!” Lois snorts a line off the top of my wiener. “And look at this…
-
Give my books a read and a review!
What the apoca-shit is happening, all my fellow poopers who’ve eaten too much spiciness and are now exerting Keanu Reeves-worthy levels of strain on the toilet, trying to get out all the nasties but it’s gone too far, your eternal soul is crowning from the rim of your dirt-star, it screams at you in its…
Kent Wayne 