Tag: book-reviews
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Give my books a read and a review!
What the apocta-beej is happening, all you supposedly lucky mofos who’re the recipient of a hoover-like mouth attached to a jackhammer neck and holy shit it’s causing you to see angels and interdimensionals and the unshaven b-hole of long-lost deities, simultaneously, unbeknownst to you, some frantic scientist in the depths of a super-secret underground base…
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Yet another weird ad for my novels
I typically lift at a bro-heavy gym. I’m pretty meticulous about maintaining my physique, so they don’t bat an eye when I’m doing my thing. Due to the fact that I can put up decent weight, they assume I yell sports’ star names when I throw wadded paper into the trash can, or chant “USA,…
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Give my books a read and a review!
What the grappling-dick is happening, my fellow big-wienered folk who’ve managed to piss off your archnemesis to the point where you’re naked and blindfolded and standing up at the very fucking edge of a thousand foot drop, they’re pointing a gun at your head and giving a menacing-ass speech accompanied by orchestral DUHTs and DUH-DUHTS! …
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Give my books a read and a review!
What the death-taint is happening, all you nasty taint-neglecters who’ve built up a thriving civilization on your fleshy undercarriage (tiny beast-folk, grotesque hobgoblins, translucent humanoids and other wonders and horrors that boggle the mind and defy the imagination) only to run into that fuckfaced coworker who posts stuff on LinkedIn that sounds like a cross…
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Give my books a read and a review!
What the dicktographer is happening, all my fellow dick-pic-ers who obsess over the best angle to highlight the frenulum or shaft or maybe that big ol’ pee-hole that never functions like it’s supposed to and shotguns urine all over the place like some kind of hellish lawn sprinkler wait maybe you should hair-gel the pubes…
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Yet another weird ad for my novels
As I plop down in front of my laptop, I clap my hands and rub em together. Guess what time it is? It’s JERKIN’ TIME!!! Here we go. Myfriendshotmom dot com, milfaf, cougarsontheprowl…how many tabs? ALL THE TABS! How many windows? ALL THE WINDOWS! Foul-smelling smoke drifts up from my screen. That’s how I know…
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Give my books a read and a review!
What the Ye Olden Cock is happening, all my fellow silver-haired fuck-machines who are capitalizing on the interest in distinguished old men but when you finally get with a woman you have to start explaining the old balls smell and the liver-spotted taint and the creepy white ear hair that makes you look like Doc…
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Yet another weird ad for my novels
“Yes, that’s it, Kent…” Professor X’s furrowed brow gets extra furrowed as he intently oversees my mutant power training. “Control it…CONTROL IT…” “NYAARGH!” My wiener slips away and boi-oi-oings around the Danger Room, smashing and cracking the walls and deck. “God DAMMIT!” I sink to my knees and hammer-fist the floor. “Why have I been…
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Give my books a read and a review!
What the dick-smear is happening, all you vengeance-minded folk who see your boss’s unattended coffee cup so you give the rim a swipe of your spicy-musky nether-bits—SQWWEEEEEEEP—and restrain your giggles as your boss raises the mug to their lips, then gives you an evil-ass smile and says they’ve been cumming on your door handle and…
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Yet another weird ad for my novels
Grammar Nazi Prime races ahead of me. “Victory is mine!” He snatches Aladdin’s Lamp and gives me the finger. “Now you will pay for besmirching grammar and diction!” “Wait!” I extend a hand. “You don’t have to—” The lamp emits a blinding flash. AFTER SPACE-TIME CALMS BACK DOWN… What the…someone taped me to the back…
Kent Wayne 