Tag: art

What the over-the-shoulder-cum is happening, all you 99th-level jerkers who’ve just achieved the crowning achievement of all jerk-related activities and blown a wad that rocketed over your motherfucking shoulder, rest is for the weak, time for round 2, you’re slaving away with a white-knuckled grip, choking the absolute shit out of your friction-burnt meat and…

What the sky-cock is happening, all you jokey mofos who are chilling at the park pointing and laughing at a phallic-looking cloud that comes with all the trimmings like stubble and veins and prominent ridges when suddenly it starts moving closer and casts a shadow over your picnic holy shit you can see the frenulum…

What the robo-fuck is happening, all you desperate horny fools who buy a ChatGPT-powered pocket vajeen and eagerly stick your meat in the aperture, only to have it clamp down with its servo-powered ridges and trap your wiener in its mechanical clutches, two soulless eyes sprout on the shaft and burn with Mordor-furnace blaze, a…

What the Ultimate Fucking Revenge is happening, all you lucky-ass mofos who stumble on the Jackpot Superpower, that of making anyone shit themselves upon your mental command, you start using it against everyone who annoys you (Karens, old men yelling at clouds, culture war enthusiasts, whoever the fuck decided baking oatmeal raisin cookies was a…

What the Christmas shit is happening, all you eager-beaver-receivers of beautifully wrapped presents who wake up extra early to see if you can spot Santa, only to discover a festive-colored, green-and-red, candy-cane-striped shit on the empty plate which once held your customary tribute of cookies, the feces is still wreathed in goddamn steam, which means—aHA!—you…

What the turtlehead is happening, all you arrogant fools who think you have the sheer force of will to deny your poop entry into the outside world and thus stare down at your anus with trembling lips, a sweat-soaked brow, and a livid stare where the veins on your eyeballs jump and twitch, you let…