Tag: amazon

Ugh…Martha Stewart lured me into her van with pizza, mountain dew, and the most delicious variants of Elmer’s glue, but after using me like a cheap piece of meat on sale at Costco, she kicked my ass out into the unforgiving desert. Wait…up ahead…is that a camper?  Do my eyes deceive me, or… No, it’s…

Bit o’ shrooms, bit o’ Tacoma FD followed by some bomb-ass kdramas… As I’m drifting off on my gamete-coated futon, my closet door bangs open—it’s my rabid ex, Irma Horfendorff!  Before I can react, she’s got me in a solid rear naked choke.  “Shh…shhhhh….” Then it all goes dark. … …….. “What the…”  I blink…