Tag: amazon

Damn, I’m writing up a storm!  The hamster in my brain has gone from piddling indifferently on its idea-generator wheel, to becoming an indomitable source for creative output.  If this were a movie, you’d see him go from being a cute lil’ jogger to a yoked-out beast—I’m talking eight pack abs, a steely-ass glare, and…

I know I should write, but there’s a bunch of new clips on myfriendshotmom dot com!  Yep, you guessed it—time to man-handle the ham candle! Big squirt o’ lube and it’s off to the races.  To help with the vibe, I hum the Star Wars Battle Theme whilst burping the worm (It’s also a fun…

“My favorite Man Whore.”  Martha Stewart caresses my cheek with the back of a curled finger.  “You know there’s no hope, right?” I strain against my zip-ties.  She’s linked them together with the ones on my ankles, forcing me to kneel with my wrists cuffed behind me.  “We’re done, Martha.  I’m not doing that shit…

“Thanks for inviting me.”  I clop into the Justice League’s voluminous conference chamber, looking appreciatively around as I halt before their iconic round table.  “Never thought you’d approve me for membership.” “I didn’t,” Batman grunts.  “The others outvoted me six to one.  I have no idea why—inventing a martial art with your oversized penis hardly…

Man, the apocalypse wasn’t that bad!  Yeah, we’ve got zombies, viruses, and mutated humanoids wandering through deserts, but once we secured our logistics and production, humanity settled into a network of reinforced hives. I’m based in New San Diego.  We’ve got helos and jets, tons of artillery, a walled-and-towered perimeter that stretches for dozens of…

About damn time!  I knew it wouldn’t be long before I could plug into a direct-to-brain, VR porn world!  Myfriendshotmom dot com, come thru with the production value! I mate the connector to the back of my skull, dissolving reality into a pixelated blur.  It coheres into a range of sex vans, bachelorette parties, and…

Damn bruh, those mushrooms were strong!  Had a good ol’ trip before I nodded off to Adventure Time… What the…where am I?  The appliances are sci-fi, but distinctly old-school; they’ve got that worn-down, slightly beaten look.  I zero in on a bed in the corner.  The dude under the blanket looks familiar, but it’s covering…

“And so, Kent Wayne, I challenge you to a dick-measuring contest.”  Elon steeples his fingers in front of his nose and mouth, and regards me over his super sleek, tech-mogul-worthy desk.  “Should you win, I shall gift you with my assets and possessions.” “And if I lose?”  I raise an eyebrow. “I will sever your…

“I want you to teach me.”  Steven Seagal, in all his creepy-gross glory, is knocking out shirtless pushups right at my feet.  His thick-haired gut slops on the floor, making wet shlorpy noises with each halfass rep—it’s like his stomach is making out with the ground.  “You’re a professional Man Whore.  Teach me your ways.”…

Another day o’ writing!  Doo bee doo bee doo…I sit at my desk, crack my knuckles, and open the ol’ mind-hole, signaling that my brain is open for business.  Any muse that wants to drop in, go ahead—drench my face-neck-and-chest with your imaginal seed, come thru with the ideas and bomb-ass scenes! Unfortunately, nothing pops…