Over the years, I’ve come to believe in a realm of truth that lies beyond theory and surface deduction, a place where answers are not just detailed in clinical logic, but where they are also intuited and deeply felt–where we live and breathe their core essence, and fully embody their organic spirit.

When I was younger, I placed total consideration into technicalities and procedures, quantifying possibility into rigid measurements and expectations. Later, I saw implicit wisdom in Tarantino’s reply when he was asked how to break into the film industry. He said, “Write and direct Reservoir Dogs. That’s what I did.” Through his tongue-and-cheek reply, he showed tacit understanding there’s more to life than odds and procedures and codified methodology, and that he got where he was by listening to his intuition and following his own unique path.

Now I focus on allowance–yes, quantification and measurement are important, but they become detrimental when they crowd out possibility, and the perceptual framework that enables me to leverage the unknown into unexpected good fortune.

I like to allow for quantification and procedures, as well as synchronicity and awesome twists of fate. Allowance is my focus, rather than an internal state of expectation-derived tension or nerve-wracking desire.

I believe novelty is inevitable–even if the same idea comes up again, it’s expressed in a different existential configuration, where none of the particles are in the exact same space-time arrangement.

So I suppose that as I recognize the “old” as new, I must also accept irony as an existential truth.

I’ve noticed my negative thoughts fall into two distinct types. The first type–where I consciously and deliberately frame things in a negative light–is like pouring fuel on the fire, or voluntarily putting my hand on a hot stove, and doesn’t lead to anything productive. The second type–negative thoughts and feelings that arise without my bidding–are simply a reflex, and dissipate faster once I allow them to exist and allow them to be felt (suppression/denial/willful ignorance of them results in false positivity, which only makes me more negative).

The first type results from a deliberate act of will, while the second is an automatic event. The first is good to avoid, while the second is good to allow.

Maybe that’s just how it works in my head, and my head alone. I’m not sure.

Recently, I’ve concluded it’s not my negativity that gets in the way; negativity arises spontaneously, as an instinctive response to an unpreferable circumstance. It’s my temptation to CLING to the negativity that holds me back–whether that manifests as denial, suppression, pretending it doesn’t exist, arguing whether it should be there, arguing whether it shouldn’t…when I let myself think whatever I spontaneously think, when I let myself feel whatever I spontaneously feel, my negativity gets to have its say, it gets to rant and rave, and then it leaves after it runs out of steam. Thus far, this is the fastest way for me to process it so I can move on.

Ironically, I’ve found it’s possible to do this without any outward indication that it’s happening within.

After physically doing what I can, I can still do more by priming my perception–by letting things be. This allows me to abide in an open and alert state of mind, without wearing myself down or narrowing my awareness.

Even if I can’t let my negativity go, then I let it be just as it is, without speaking or acting on it (which could easily get me in trouble), but fully feeling it. In my experience, that allows it to leave of its own accord, without strengthening its presence through my rationalization or denial, and seems to be the fastest and easiest way to allow it to move on.