Tag: writing

Give my books a read and a review!

DirtySciFiBuddha2 Comments

What the fuck-shlorp is happening, all you shlorpy shlurpy enthusiasts who are truly digging the shloppylicious audio/tactile accompaniment that comes with a shlippery-shlidey orifice but you take it a step too far in the middle of doggy style and start singing the bridge from Adam Sandler’s catchy-as-hell tune “Lunchlady Land,” belting out, “SLOPPY JOE, SLOPPY SLOPPY JOE YEAH—”

What.  The FUCK.  The LAST thing your partner wants is to hear a super catchy jingle (watch the part where he sings sloppy joe, it is RIDICULOUSLY catchy) that celebrates their commitment to shlorpin’ and shloppin’!  Shut the fuck up and enjoy it in silence!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀

Check out my sci-fi series: Echo!

DirtySciFiBuddha11 Comments

Echo is where I started my writing journey. The series has four books, and is filled with musings on society and existence, along with big doses of violence (especially in book 2) as well as psychic stuff and existential philosophy (book 3 and 4). You can see me get a firmer grip on dialogue, description, action, perspective, and symbolism as you progress through the series. #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Here’s the link: Echo.

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀    

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜   #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited #WritingCommunity

Musings

DirtySciFiBuddha15 Comments

To partake in society, we must honor a degree of baseline consensus. But in my opinion, this has nothing to do with existential self worth. In the absence of definitive metaphysical proof, we can’t assign worth in the passage of eons and upheaval of galaxies, where over the possibly incomprehensible span of time, good triggers bad and bad leads to good. I take that to mean that my internal sense of worth, until definitively valued by an as-of-yet, unconfirmed authority that omnisciently dictates all of reality, is mine to decide for the present moment. 

Check out my first YA Fantasy book: A Door into Evermoor!

DirtySciFiBuddha3 Comments

Check out my first venture into YA fantasy!  Jon’s a regular Earth kid who wants something more.  After he stumbles through an interdimensional portal, his wishes are granted in spectacular fashion!  During his journey, he encounters a Wolven King and an Elerican Witch, the last Wayfarer, and a half-Elf Princess!  All this and more in A Door into Evermoor! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here: A Door into Evermoor.

Get A Door into Evermoor here:  A Door into Evermoor  Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!🙂 🙂 😀

Yet another weird ad for my novels

DirtySciFiBuddha2 Comments

Bit o’ shrooms, bit o’ Tacoma FD followed by some bomb-ass kdramas…

As I’m drifting off on my gamete-coated futon, my closet door bangs open—it’s my rabid ex, Irma Horfendorff! 

Before I can react, she’s got me in a solid rear naked choke.  “Shh…shhhhh….”

Then it all goes dark.

…

……..

“What the…”  I blink and squint, piecing together slivers of input.  Seconds later, I realize I’m hanging upside down in an abandoned warehouse. 

Where the hell did she—

BUH-dudda-dudda-duh! 

My left nut erupts with agonizing pain, bouncing around in my scrote like a Minion on crack.  BUH-dudda-DUDDA-duh-budda-budda-BUH-dudda-dudda-duh!  My right nut follows, manically jiggling to and fro.  Irma keeps going, speed-bagging my gigantimous balls with rapid-fire punches. 

“STOP!” I scream.  “For the love of Batman cucking Clark with Lois, STOP!”

She raises her fist, causing me to squeal and flinch, then lowers it and gives me a malicious grin.  “Told you I’d get my goddamn revenge.  Bet you’re wishing you got me that diamond ring, huh?”

“I told you!” I yell, “the Kimberley process is a goddamn joke!  In addition to the environmental impacts and human rights violations, most of the product gets refined in Surat, where shady labor practices compound the—”

“SILENCE!”  She launches into a spinning wheel kick, using my wiener as an improvised heavy bag. 

“NYAAGH!”  I didn’t think the pain could get worse, but I’m forced to reconsider as she digs into my shaft with liver shots and hooks, interspersed with punishing Thai kicks to the glans and frenulum.  

“Rocky was on to something,” she grunts, “ ’bout to go Mortal fucking Kombat on your oversized womb-hammer!”

The tempo increases—my award-winning genitals erupt with impact-born ripples.  Fuck it.  No options left.  So I open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

Aristotle jumps out of an interdimensional portal, aglow with symbol-crafted chains of sentential formulas and time-tested reasoning. 

“No!”  Irma stumbles back, shielding her face with her hands.  “Induction, deduction, fallacies, premises…get your LOGIC AWAY FROM ME, YOU MOTHERFUCKING MONSTER!”  Then she transforms into a swirl of bats, crashes through the warehouse window, and disappears into the gloomy night. 

Whew!  Gotta protect the frank n’ beans!  Writing might be fun, but Man-Whoring pays the goddamn bills! 

Kent Wayne wins again!  😀

Has your ex tied you up like a side of beef in an old-school Rocky montage, then gone Captain Insano on your vulnerable genitals?  Never fear!  Buy my books, summon the all-father of logic, and scare your attacker away with a helping of well-constructed thought!

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check out my high school absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! (Yes, I know “absurdical” is a made up word)

DirtySciFiBuddhaLeave a comment

Idiot demon-jocks, tons of profanity, copious psychedelics, and an airborne kiss at 300 mph, hanging from the back of a mushroom-shaped mecha!  All this and more in my comedy/horror/sci-fi absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited 

Give my books a read and a review!

DirtySciFiBuddha4 Comments

What the gray-sweat-pantsed-wiener is happening, my fellow giant-pieced thriller protagonists who’ve been snapped up by the feds for some erroneous fucking bullshit but despite your fervent pleas to go after the REAL villain, they’ve decided to give you a ride back to headquarters so you dip your head, a band of shadow falls across your eyes, and you jerk your hips towards the one on the right, knocking him out cold with your weaponized dickprint the one on the left pulls his gun which you force upward with your hands, fires three shots before you whip your hips again, slamming his trachea with your hefty glans and transform his shouts into frantic gagging, the driver is ordering you to stand the fuck down but you choke him with the chained link between your cuffed-together wrists causing him to veer off the road into the cold dark river—spuh-LOOSH—you break the window with a field-expedient boner before kicking off your pants and using your dick as a propeller to guide you downstream toward a safehouse operated by a decades-old friend who you worked with in Seville and the back-alleys of Prague—

Jesus Christ, keep that womb-hammer on safe!  These guys are doing their goddamn job, not trying to whisk you off to some nefarious-ass black site!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀

Check out my sci-fi series: Echo!

DirtySciFiBuddhaLeave a comment

Echo is where I started my writing journey. The series has four books, and is filled with musings on society and existence, along with big doses of violence (especially in book 2) as well as psychic stuff and existential philosophy (book 3 and 4). You can see me get a firmer grip on dialogue, description, action, perspective, and symbolism as you progress through the series. #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Here’s the link: Echo.

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀    

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜   #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited #WritingCommunity

Musings

DirtySciFiBuddha25 Comments

Maybe I’ve fallen into a foolish state of existential trust, but I find that if I build on what I’m given, I’m given more to build with. That doesn’t mean everything has to be put to immediate use, but I do believe there’s value in releasing anger and frustration (for me it’s not so much deliberately releasing, but deliberately validating and internally allowing it and it releases on its own) at not being given what I thought I wanted. 

Weapons of Old, Volume 2 of the Unbound Realm, is the second installment in my YA fantasy series

DirtySciFiBuddhaLeave a comment

Weapons of Old has pushed my writing abilities to their limits.  It’s got fantasy-world pirates, creepy dungeon crawls, magic swords, nine-headed whips, dryads, giant battles, epic speeches, golems, existential philosophy, and a whole lot more!  I sincerely hope you enjoy my newest effort!

 #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here:  Weapons of Old

Get A Door into Evermoor here:  A Door into Evermoor  Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!🙂 🙂 😀