“We found it,” Darth Maul hisses.  “Your little black client book—it’s FUCKING FILTHY!”  Darth Maul extends a hand, freezing me in place with his Dark Side energy. 

“HRRGH.”  I try and fight it, but there’s nothing there for me to grab.  Headrush-sparkles dance through my vision—pretty soon, it’s gonna start closing in at the edges.

“MY MOTHER!”  Darth Vader busts through a wall and levels his lightsaber at my face.  “YOU GAPED HER OUT LIKE A THANKSGIVING TURKEY!’

“What…did…you…expect.”  My eyes tick over to him.  “I’m…an…award-winning…Man Whore.”

“Not for long,” Maul rasps.  “In less than a minute, you’ll be a lifeless piece of—”

Fuck it.  No options left.  So I reach in my pocket and open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers.  Magic flash. 

“I’ve gained access to power…that dwarfs your ridiculous kid-party parlor tricks.”  I extend a hand toward Maul, mirroring his finger-curled gesture.

“Have you?”  He chuckles sardonically and tightens his Force-choke.  “I assure you that—”

I flex my will and tense my fingers, causing him to double at the waist and clutch his belly.

“OH DEAR JESUS!”  Even though he’s got a robot butt, my poop-yourself-powers don’t have limits—motor oil, organs, and foul-smelling liquids erupt out his backend.  “AH-GOD-PLEASE!”  Tears leak down his red-and-black cheeks.  “MERCY—I BEG OF YOU!”

I swivel left, pointing my curl-fingered hand at Darth Vader’s helmet.  He deactivates his saber, raises his hands, and quavers, “Whoa—hey now.  I was kidding around, you know?”  He shakes with a nervous, don’t-hurt-me giggle.  “Um…my mom’s hot, everyone knows that.  I don’t blame you for—”

I flex my will and rasp, “You’re making this weird.”

“AAAHHHHH!!!”  He clutches his gut as hamsters, beer bottles, and half-digested food shoot out his dirt-star. 

“What’s going on here?!?”  Leia comes stomping in.  Her face lights up as she lasers in on me.  “My favorite Man Whore!”

I glance down at my upcurve, then shoot her a weighted, wink-wink look.  “It’s here if you want it.”

She wipes drool off her mouth with the back of her wrist.  “Hot damn!  The Widener cometh!”  (Everyone’s got a nickname for it).

As she slips a hand into the crook of my elbow, Vader reaches out with a trembling arm.  “Fuck…no…NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!”

Music to my ears!  HEH heh heh!

Kent Wayne wins again!

😀

Have you been accosted by a couple of jealous-ass Sith lords?  Never fear!  Buy my books, make ’em shit out their organs, then widen their family members for money, prestige, and/or sheer petty vengeance! 

Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1 

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!     #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Goddamn…why am I staring down at my face?  No, don’t tell me…

“HE’S DEAD!!!”  A horde of milfs crowd my body, obstructing it from my aerial perspective.  “This award-winning Man Whore deserves to be in a museum!”  They all burst out in murmurs of assent.  “We only have so much ice, which means we can’t preserve everything.  Quick—we need to decide what takes priority!  What’s the best part?  His abs?  That delicious muscle that goes from his neck to his shoulder, the one that chicks like to mark with a bite?  What about his clit-hammer?”

“His what?”

“You know—his pendulous sack.  It adds extra sensation by slapping your button when he’s hitting it from the back in spider-monkey doggy style.”

“No, you fools!” one of them screams.  “It’s his girthy, vajeen-widening upcurved DICK!”

Her buddy looks around in unhinged panic.  “Who would do this?  What kind of sadist—”

Brad Pitt walks out from the shadows, bowing his head and clapping in mock appreciation.  “Bravo, gents.  Bra.  Fucking.  Vo.”  He’s trailed by he-whores from all generations:  Hemsworth, Chalamet, Jackman, and dozens of others follow in his wake. 

“This FUCKHOLE—”  Brad Pitt thrusts a finger at my unresponsive face.  “—overshadowed us all!  None of us can compete with the angle on his wiener!  It’s like a goddamn g-spot-seeking crotch missile!”

“You killed him.”  The lead milf’s shock and horror slowly transforms into steely-edged wrath.  “You killed him.”  The rest of the milfs rise up behind her, heads bowed in Fuck-You rage. 

Pitt looks back at his sub-par whores, laughs, and shoots her a wicked, school-bully grin.  “Yeah?  What are you gonna do about it?”

“RUAHHHHH!!!”  A tide of milfs boil toward him, hands raised into scrotum-tearing claws. 

Fuck.  FUCK.  I can’t let my clients fight them alone.  So I reach deep into my psychospiritual essence, and open my mental eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers.  Magic flash. 

I’m back in my body, and conveniently enough, my womb-hammer just switched into full-on Destruction Mode.  As it rears back and eclipses the moon, it unleashes a howl of bone-quaking fury, blurring the air with ripples of force. 

Chris Evans drops to his knees, holding his hands over his ears.  “No…STOP…”  Blood leaks past his white-knuckled hands.  He’s closest to my wiener, so he’s getting the brunt of its sonic assault. He straightens up and screams in pain—AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!—before his over-pressured eyes burst from their sockets, and his head explodes into a gory red fountain. 

The other he-whores turn and run.  Chalamet makes it a dozen yards before my shaft comes down in a thunderous arc, mashing him into the unforgiving dirt.  As my wiener raises back up, I can see Chalamet sticking to its veiny underside.  I barely recognize him.  His features were deformed by the horrendous impact, his bones and organs have been crushed and pureed. 

He manages to murmur, “Kiilll meeee…” through his mangled lips before my unrelenting wiener descends again, smashing the lower half of Hemsworth’s body, and causing everything in his torso to squirt out through his mouth.  The other he-whores don’t fare better—they all die horrific deaths, courtesy of my unstoppable, death-crazed phallus. 

In a macabre twist, my clients all burst into raucous cheers.  It’s pretty weird, considering we’re surrounded by an army of corpses…

Oh well.  That’s what you get, you sub -par he-whores, for depriving them of an award-winning upcurve!

 Kent Wayne wins again!  HEH heh heh!

😀

Have weak-penised celebrities tried to kill you ’cause your wiener triggers uncontrollable rage, to the point where they can’t even masturbate without sobbing in desolation?  Never fear!  Buy my books, make your womb-hammer into an instrument of death, and destroy them with a series of world-cracking strikes!

Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1 

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!     #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing