For a long while, I experienced a series of unfortunate surprises, and for a long while, I thought that was just life. But as I opened myself to the possibility of beneficial chance, I began to experience the opposite–existence gave me unexpected gifts.

Maybe there’s no correlation, maybe fortune and perspective are unrelated. But at the very least, I’ve concluded I needn’t live in fear of the unknown, and to give my heart’s desire an honest shot. My life, after all, is guaranteed to eventually end, so what have I got to lose?

After brute-forcing my way through much of my life, after encountering numerous rough spots, I have come to believe the easiest way forward is not endless chains of mental gymnastics, but allowing myself enough space and uncertainty to intuit the answer, live it, and be it.

It may not make sense, it may evoke contrary data and countless arguments, but long-term, it works for me if no one else.

Despite all our advances, we have a poor understanding of our metaphysical reality (is consciousness a result of matter coming together, or did it precede the physical? Are we in a simulation? Do we have free will? And if we do, how much, and under what circumstances?)

So in the freedom of that uncertainty, I choose to believe that if I focus on the most optimistic heading that resonates (even if that’s objectively negative, like anger, because it is the best I can do at that specific moment), I can improve my standing and make my way into true positivity, while taking advantage of opportunities along the way.

No one else needs to believe this (forcing others into positivity always seems to lead to disappointment) but I consider our choice of personal focus to be an existential right.

Once I began to perceive and accept the inherent absurdity and slipperiness of reality, I found it much easier to establish a solid foothold.

There’s reams of data out there, that–when juxtaposed against our limited and transient lives–underlines my insignificance, transience, and ignorance.

The only practical conclusion I can take away from that is to focus on enjoying the moment, and appreciating the Mystery as much as possible.

Distraction from pain. Giving into a craving. Doing what nets me the most happiness and fulfillment.

I find it useful to perceive where they appear to be the same, even when they are completely at odds.

When I try to let things go, I usually get hung up on two aspects–the effort or “trying” and my focus on whatever I’m trying to let go of.

When I let things be (like the Beatles sang about), it works out better for me. I’m allowing everything–not just the object of my negative focus–to exist as it is, and I’m no longer trying. Ironically, this allows me to let go much faster, and I can home in on what I truly want. For me, the distinction is small but important. I’ll still outwardly tackle issues and tasks, but while I’m doing so, I’ll continue tidying up my inner landscape.

I have no proof, but I believe the ability to be unconditionally happy–to funnel my attention onto an omnipresent feeling of existential well-being–is more than just a trick of the mind. I believe it is our inherent right. I believe it springs from an all-inclusive, generative source. I believe we came from it, and even though we might throw a fit to add some drama to the stories we call our lives, I believe we will return to it.

I believe we are trapped in a no-lose game.

I view emotional management as an existential game, in which continual acceptance–which often means including/acknowledging my internal negativity–is my present moment aim. For me, that’s the surest way back to positivity: by allowing whatever arises its own existence, without necessarily agreeing with it and/or grudgingly tolerating it. (Another way to phrase is it would be to not reject it and mentally let it be.)

The faster I can get back to open positivity, the better I am at perceiving and capitalizing on an abundance of opportunities. From there, I can stack advantages and gains, and build constructive momentum. The converse is true when I wallow in negativity longer than necessary (when it doesn’t feel like relief anymore, and/or my gut says I need to move on) or if I try to fight or deny it. That makes it linger longer than I’d like.

I’ve come to realize when I feel negative about something, it’s because I desperately want to feel the opposite emotion, not because I truly hate someone, believe I’m not worthy, etc. etc.

So after I accept/acknowledge/include that dug-in negativity (to loosen it and part ways with it instead of exhausting myself trying to reject it) I focus on what I truly want. At first, it’s usually an empty assertion, but as it gradually strengthens, I get back to the point where I can’t remember why I ever felt the pull of negativity in the first place. It takes some diligence, but after going through the cycle time and again, I’ve learned to trust in the process.