Goddamn…why am I staring down at my face?  No, don’t tell me…

“HE’S DEAD!!!”  A horde of milfs crowd my body, obstructing it from my aerial perspective.  “This award-winning Man Whore deserves to be in a museum!”  They all burst out in murmurs of assent.  “We only have so much ice, which means we can’t preserve everything.  Quick—we need to decide what takes priority!  What’s the best part?  His abs?  That delicious muscle that goes from his neck to his shoulder, the one that chicks like to mark with a bite?  What about his clit-hammer?”

“His what?”

“You know—his pendulous sack.  It adds extra sensation by slapping your button when he’s hitting it from the back in spider-monkey doggy style.”

“No, you fools!” one of them screams.  “It’s his girthy, vajeen-widening upcurved DICK!”

Her buddy looks around in unhinged panic.  “Who would do this?  What kind of sadist—”

Brad Pitt walks out from the shadows, bowing his head and clapping in mock appreciation.  “Bravo, gents.  Bra.  Fucking.  Vo.”  He’s trailed by he-whores from all generations:  Hemsworth, Chalamet, Jackman, and dozens of others follow in his wake. 

“This FUCKHOLE—”  Brad Pitt thrusts a finger at my unresponsive face.  “—overshadowed us all!  None of us can compete with the angle on his wiener!  It’s like a goddamn g-spot-seeking crotch missile!”

“You killed him.”  The lead milf’s shock and horror slowly transforms into steely-edged wrath.  “You killed him.”  The rest of the milfs rise up behind her, heads bowed in Fuck-You rage. 

Pitt looks back at his sub-par whores, laughs, and shoots her a wicked, school-bully grin.  “Yeah?  What are you gonna do about it?”

“RUAHHHHH!!!”  A tide of milfs boil toward him, hands raised into scrotum-tearing claws. 

Fuck.  FUCK.  I can’t let my clients fight them alone.  So I reach deep into my psychospiritual essence, and open my mental eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers.  Magic flash. 

I’m back in my body, and conveniently enough, my womb-hammer just switched into full-on Destruction Mode.  As it rears back and eclipses the moon, it unleashes a howl of bone-quaking fury, blurring the air with ripples of force. 

Chris Evans drops to his knees, holding his hands over his ears.  “No…STOP…”  Blood leaks past his white-knuckled hands.  He’s closest to my wiener, so he’s getting the brunt of its sonic assault. He straightens up and screams in pain—AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!—before his over-pressured eyes burst from their sockets, and his head explodes into a gory red fountain. 

The other he-whores turn and run.  Chalamet makes it a dozen yards before my shaft comes down in a thunderous arc, mashing him into the unforgiving dirt.  As my wiener raises back up, I can see Chalamet sticking to its veiny underside.  I barely recognize him.  His features were deformed by the horrendous impact, his bones and organs have been crushed and pureed. 

He manages to murmur, “Kiilll meeee…” through his mangled lips before my unrelenting wiener descends again, smashing the lower half of Hemsworth’s body, and causing everything in his torso to squirt out through his mouth.  The other he-whores don’t fare better—they all die horrific deaths, courtesy of my unstoppable, death-crazed phallus. 

In a macabre twist, my clients all burst into raucous cheers.  It’s pretty weird, considering we’re surrounded by an army of corpses…

Oh well.  That’s what you get, you sub -par he-whores, for depriving them of an award-winning upcurve!

 Kent Wayne wins again!  HEH heh heh!

😀

Have weak-penised celebrities tried to kill you ’cause your wiener triggers uncontrollable rage, to the point where they can’t even masturbate without sobbing in desolation?  Never fear!  Buy my books, make your womb-hammer into an instrument of death, and destroy them with a series of world-cracking strikes!

Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1 

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!     #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

What the fuck?  I wake up and glance at my bedside alarm.  It’s 1 am, and someone’s blasting the punching bag in my garage.  I rack my 9mil, get out of bed, and slowly make my way down the stairs. 

I line up my muzzle, eye, and foot, and start cutting the pie on the doorway to my garage.  Halfway through, I spot Luke Skywalker, wailing away on the goddamn heavy bag, screaming “FUCK YOU!  FUCK YOU!  FUCK YOU!”  Each time he swears, he lands a hate-fueled punch. 

“HEY!” I yell.  “Just what in the hell do you think you’re DOING?”

He spins around, tears in his eyes, and levels a finger at my face.  “I kissed my SISTER, man!  I’m a fucking SISTER-KISSER!”

“Lucas wrote that in before he fleshed out the trilogy!  Let it go, fucker!”

“And then I drank alien titty milk!”  He drops to his knees and sobs into his hands.  “AH GOD THE ALIEN TITTY MILK!”

I eject my mag, rack the slide to the rear, pop out the round in the chamber, and put it all on a nearby shelf.  “Look, man, I’m sure it wasn’t—”

A hooded figure drifts out of the shadow.  “Intentional?”  He steeples his fingers and cackles with glee.  “Oh I assure you—it was completely intentional.”

“No.”  Luke scuttles back on his hands and butt, huddling in the corner and curling into a ball.  “NO!”

“Yes.”  The hooded figure pulls back his hood, revealing himself to be none other than—

“GEORGE FUCKING LUCAS!”  Luke clutches the air and screams in anguish. 

“Don’t forget about me.”  A second hooded figure emerges from the shadows, noticeably more rotund than George Lucas.  He pulls back his hood.

Holy shit—George R.R. MARTIN???

“I’ve come to finish the job.”  His grin widens into an evil rictus.  “You think sister-kissing is gross?  Ever seen what I did with the Lannisters?”

Luke screams louder than he did on Bespin, when Vader cut off his motherfucking arm.  “NOOOOOOOO!!!!”

“You!”  I thrust a finger at the sister-focused perverts.  “YOU’RE the reason I can’t scroll through xvideos without incestuous garbage popping up on my feed!  I don’t mind when someone gets stuck in a dryer, but—”

“Quiet.”  George Lucas reaches toward me, curling his fingers and Dark Side-choking me.  “My creation will bow to my wishes and whims.”

“HRRKK.”  I claw at my throat, but there’s no real hand—I’m about to be murdered by a neck-bearded Sith-lord.

Fuck it.  No options left.  So I reach in my pocket and open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers.  Magic flash. 

“You think you’re gross?”  Steven Seagal plods into the center of the room, clad in a pair of yellow-spotted whitey-tighties.  “You don’t know the first thing about gross.”  He proceeds to pull a fly-ridden chicken leg from the depths of his greasy-ass chest-hair.

Lucas and Martin immediately start retching.  I’m talking projectile-vomit that’s so goddamn hard it ricochets off the walls and the floor, and envelops the room in a maze of zig-zagging puke.  Thankfully, I’m near the door, so while my eyes start watering and my gorge starts rising, I don’t get affected nearly as bad.  (Luke’s puking and shitting along with the Georges, but he’s a gross-ass sister-kisser, so fuck him.)

While I stagger away, I glimpse Lucas passed out in a pool of his own vomit.  Martin is on his hands and his knees, valiantly trying to cling to life.  He moans, “It kills, it kills…” before he collapses and starts jerking and twitching. 

Welp, that’s what you get for pushing your sister-fetish bullshit! 

Kent Wayne wins again!

😀

Have you been accosted by some gross-ass Georges?  Never fear!  Buy my books, summon Steven Seagal, and make them choke on their own fucking vomit!

Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1 

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!     #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

I typically lift at a bro-heavy gym.  I’m pretty meticulous about maintaining my physique, so they don’t bat an eye when I’m doing my thing.  Due to the fact that I can put up decent weight, they assume I yell sports’ star names when I throw wadded paper into the trash can, or chant “USA, USA!” when something explodes. 

Little do they know—I look like a meathead, but that’s as far as it goes.

Case in point:  I’m watching my favorite new addiction while I’m blasting out reps.  That’s right—Kpop Demon Hunters.  And I am INTO it.  As Jinu sacrifices himself to save Rumi, I start arguing with my phone screen.  “No, you IDIOT, there’s another way to keep them alive, you don’t have to—”

“Why are you shouting?”  A douche-bro with muscled straining man-teats (made ten times worse by the fact that he’s wearing a spaghetti-strap tank top), walks up and peers into my phone.  “What the—”  He straightens in shock, cups his mouth, and yells at the rest of the gym while pointing at my face.  “HE REFUSES TO CONFORM TO OUR INSECURITY-DRIVEN TASTES—HE’S WATCHING GODDAMN KPOP DEMON HUNTERS!!!”

Cries of outrage erupt from the bros.  “I HATE HIM!”  And:  “HIS DICK IS PROBABLY BIGGER THAN ALL OF OURS COMBINED!”  Followed by:  “UNDOUBTEDLY!”  And:  “I WOULD BET MY LIFE ON IT!”  It culminates in a howl of bone-quaking rage, then they all sprint toward me with murder in their eyes.

Holy.  SHIT.  I am seconds away from being torn to shreds.

No options left.  So I open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers.  Magic flash. 

An interdimensional portal appears in the middle of the gym.  The douche-bros’ hot-ass moms pour from its center, and immediately begin chastising them.  Their names throw me for a goddamn loop—it sounds like a list of Ivy-league roofie-slingers.  I’m talking Daxtons, Hunters, Codys, Jaggers, Baylors, Zaydens, Sawyers…(As far as the normal ones, I’m guessing they’re horrendously misspelled—since when did it become fashionable to name your kid Qris, Zaquiri, Ty-lor, or S5imon?  I mean, what in the FUCK?)

A mom flings an arm at me and screams, “Don’t you know who this is???  It’s 2025’s top-rated Man Whore!”

I rub the back of my neck and hiss through my teeth.  “I mean…”

“Oh hush.”  She flaps a dismissive hand at me.  “Take off your clothes—lemme get to work on that top-tier womb-hammer.”

Her son (I forgot his name—I think it’s Jaxsynn, $eth, or maybe Johnorea) shoots her a look of abject horror.  “Mom!”

One of the other moms adds, “And sing ‘Soda Pop’ while you’re widening our vajeens.”

“No!”  The douche-bros’ drop to their knees and clutch the air with their hands.  “NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

I clap my hands and rub them briskly together, smiling like the cat that got the mothafuckin’ cream. 

OH yeah!  HEH heh heh!  Kent Wayne wins again! 

😀

Are insecurity-driven douche-bros persecuting you for grooving to a banger from Ejae, Rei-Ami, or Audrey Nuna?  Never fear!  Buy my books, magically summon their horny-ass moms, and lay that pipe while you cum to their tears!

Get A Door into Evermoor on kindle here: A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1 

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!     #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing