I’ve just taken up a new hobby:  spelunking.  It’s me and four tourists wandering through the caves, when suddenly, we realize we’re lost.  The creepiness builds up; we’re seeing pale, wormy, multi-legged things, eyeless fishes eeling through pools of water, and every now and then, a pair of glowing eyes that vanish when we try…

I’m a velociraptor motha duckas!  I’m running around the Cretaceous plains with me and my velociraptor buddies, jacking protoceratopses.  Every now and then if we want a challenge, we’ll go after a brontosaur.  I’ve even made a little deinonychus buddy named Bitefighter.  We’re all sleeping off a meal, sunbathing on the rocks, when suddenly we hear:  “Ca-CAW!”…

I’m riding a giant were-jackal over the high plains of Leng.  Life is good; on a daily basis I kill an evil wizard, three apyodons, and usually acquire a magic amulet or two.  I’m chilling by my campfire with my were-jackal—Bitefighter—grilling up some leoptrix steaks.  Suddenly, I see a sinister quartet of cloaked wanderers crest a…

Sweet!  New company gym!  Slinging steel is a perfect cure for TPS reports.  Weeks pass and I fall more and more in love with the gym; aside from the few nerds using the ellipticals, it’s pretty much all mine.  Strangely though, I’m garnering more and more resentful looks.  One day the hate culminates; I’m in…