Category: Musings

Sometimes, I’ll get caught up in the idea that our lives are a series of exhausting transactions, an endless defense of our self-worth and value. Then I remember there’s enough metaphysical wiggle room to allow for the possibility we might be in a simulation, that we aren’t yet certain whether consciousness is a fluke of…

Due to the well-being that arises when my mind is empty, I’ve come to suspect that well-being is actually the default state–that it needn’t be justified or defended, and all that it requires is unobstructed passage to make itself felt. Or I could exist in an internal state of paranoia and sacrifice. Always justifying, always…

As time passes, I’ve seen “bad” things become good, and “good” things become bad. My takeaway is that I needn’t rush to condemn or praise, that I can focus more on enjoying the moment instead of obsessing over the score. From what I’ve seen of fulfillment, it doesn’t seem to be wedded to a checklist…

I like to think that any unpleasantness in my past has some potential benefit. With time and perspective, I like to think that negative outcomes can be shaped into something positive–they don’t have to be some evil ghost that lurks in the shadows and randomly messes with me. Their true purpose might be the polar…

Most prefer positivity, but opinions differ on whether to force it or be negative in the name of authenticity. When I force positivity, it feels like I’m a ceaseless ball of tension, everywhere from my muscles to my intrusive thoughts. When I deliberately justify or rationalize negativity, it grows and emboldens. In either case, I…

I’ve made myself miserable trying to pin down the objective truth–I used to think I could somehow quantify it and impose it on others. But then I realized what worked for me didn’t work for others, what called to me didn’t call to others, what drove and energized me was not universal. Perhaps the objective…

Paradoxically, there seems to be validity to the argument that every story has been told before (thematically and structurally), and also that every occurrence is novel by default (it occurs only once in its unique space-time coordinate, surrounded by its own unique configuration of subatomic reality). To me, the novelty or timelessness isn’t relevant. If…

When I’m stuck in negativity, I know “this too shall pass,” is objectively true. But if I harangue myself with that phrase when it doesn’t resonate, I just prolong my negativity. So I accept whatever thought arises naturally, even if it’s false. It could be “this will last forever,” “this is hopeless,” etc. I don’t…

Sometimes, I can nag or rationalize myself out of negativity. Oftentimes, I can’t. I find it more effective to acknowledge my negativity’s validity (not its metaphysical/objective truth, because who knows what’s objectively true? We still don’t know if this is a simulation) and its right to exist. Intellectually, that may seem like I’m agreeing with…

Sometimes, when I’m deep in the throes of being a happy idiot, I realize it’s the smartest choice I could have made in that moment.