Give my books a read and a review!

DirtySciFiBuddha4 Comments

What the fart-clench is happening, all you folks who are doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-ing in a crowded elevator while ascending toward an all-hands meeting where you intend to put a shitload of time into leveling up some farms on your favorite phone game, when suddenly your butthole clenches in reflexive terror as burble-gurbles rock your colon and sweat springs out across your brow, if this were a movie the camera would zoom into your eye and show desperately clashing groups of synapses as the war to hold it erupts throughout your body, the theme from Requiem for a Dream starts playing at full fucking blast, the forces of good—those law-abiding church-going muscles in your anal sphincter—tremble and quiver, then scream in eighties slo-mo as they fall before the gases spawned from that evil-ass burrito you ate for breakfast, the music stops and the camera zooms onto your sweaty lips, there’s a hanging silence as you whisper a plea—

“No.”

—before it rushes out your dilated asshole, the music kicks in as your fellow elevator-riders burst into slo-mo chaos, spasming and flailing like they’ve been riddled with tommy guns, their eyes roll back, blood fountains out their mouths, their veins turn black and they implode into unrecognizable wads of ruined slimy flesh—

What in the FUCK!  Save that burrito for some nighttime munchies, so you can roast your own face in an ethically self-administered, Dutch fucking Oven!  Don’t unleash it on the innocent masses!  Jesus!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

🙂 🙂 😀

Check out my sci-fi series: Echo!

DirtySciFiBuddha8 Comments

Echo is where I started my writing journey. The series has four books, and is filled with musings on society and existence, along with big doses of violence (especially in book 2) as well as psychic stuff and existential philosophy (book 3 and 4). You can see me get a firmer grip on dialogue, description, action, perspective, and symbolism as you progress through the series. #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Here’s the link: Echo.

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization! 🙂 🙂 😀    

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜   #Kindle  #KindleUnlimited #WritingCommunity

Musings

DirtySciFiBuddha19 Comments

After decades of focus on learning and striving, I began to question what I was learning and striving for, when the question of what is objectively valid is up in the air, given the unknown breadth of existence, my short time in a body, and the limitations of my physical senses.

It may be semantics, but I’d rather focus on experiencing, rather than learning and striving. Even though I may learn and strive, I’ve decided I’m here for the experience of it–to be as present as I can during my temporary stay.

That’s not to say you should do the same. The beauty of our ambiguous, seemingly purposeless reality is that we get to explore our boundaries and craft our own purpose.

Check out my first YA Fantasy book: A Door into Evermoor!

DirtySciFiBuddha5 Comments

Check out my first venture into YA fantasy!  Jon’s a regular Earth kid who wants something more.  After he stumbles through an interdimensional portal, his wishes are granted in spectacular fashion!  During his journey, he encounters a Wolven King and an Elerican Witch, the last Wayfarer, and a half-Elf Princess!  All this and more in A Door into Evermoor! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here: A Door into Evermoor.

Get A Door into Evermoor here:  A Door into Evermoor  Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!🙂 🙂 😀

Yet another weird ad for my novels

DirtySciFiBuddha16 Comments

“My favorite Man Whore.”  Martha Stewart caresses my cheek with the back of a curled finger.  “You know there’s no hope, right?”

I strain against my zip-ties.  She’s linked them together with the ones on my ankles, forcing me to kneel with my wrists cuffed behind me.  “We’re done, Martha.  I’m not doing that shit with the cupcakes.  Doesn’t matter how much you pay me—I deserve better.”

She throws her head back and barks out a laugh.  “HA!  Oh no, Kent—you WILL do that shit with the cupcakes.  You think you’re too good for me, now that you’ve got big-name clients like Taylor and Ratajkowski?  Think again, fuckwit—I’m gonna defile you with a panoply of baked goods, in ways that would make Sauron shit himself in terror.”

“The FUCK YOU WILL!”  I snap free of my zip-ties and open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

My upcurved wiener leaps free of my sock, uncoils from my thigh, and shoots clean through my pants.  Thanks to my eReader, it’s now as big as a monstrous python.  I shield my face as it rears up and howls, blurring the air with an ear-splitting roar. 

“Already planned for this!” Martha snarls.  She opens her eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

Giant labia pop through her trousers.  Our prehensile genitalia leap into action, battering each other with unchecked savagery.  For some insane reason, “The Duel of the Fates” starts playing in the background.  Fuck—am I Obi Wan Kenobi or Qui-Gon Jinn?  One survives, the other one dies…fuck it.  I can’t take the chance.  So I open my eReader again and activate its reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

Luke Skywalker leaps out of a portal holding his lightsaber, aiming for Martha’s unguarded back.  “Not so fast, sister-kisser!”  She shoots a hand out, grabs his throat, then batters him with her murderous unstoppable labia.  As he reels and stumbles, she grabs a pair of gold-plated rolling pins mounted on her wall.  “I saw what you did on the Death Star and Hoth—trynna incept us with your gross-ass incest!”  She jams a rolling pin up his ass, then, as he stiffens and screams, shoves the other down his throat and shish-kebabs his organs.  His eyes bug out, he collapses to his knees.  Blood trickles from his mouth as he twitches and gurgles. 

She’s not wrong, but FUCK.  Gotta try my eReader again.  I open it to another Kent Wayne novel.  Magic flash. 

The entire Justice League pours through the doors.  Martha labia-punches Batman right in the throat, causing him to gag and stagger backwards.  At the same time, she grabs Superman and Green Lantern by their miniscule cocks and breaks them off their unimpressive roots.

“COME ON!”  Wonder Woman flies off with me cradled in her arms.  “GOTTA SAVE YOUR SWEET UPCURVED DICK!” 

I chance a look back.  She blatters Aquaman with a labia combo, then smashes him between them like he was overheated playdoh.  His gooey remains slop to the floor, darkening the tile with shattered bone, puddled skin, and a nasty mess of pulverized organs.

Yes, I defied Martha Stewart, but at what cost?

AT.  WHAT.  COST????

*Cue the theme from Requiem for a Dream*

Has Martha countered your magic eReader with her own evil version?  Never fear!  Buy ALL my books so you have multiple Hail Marys at your disposal! 

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  Get Weapons of Old here: Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check out my high school absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! (Yes, I know “absurdical” is a made up word)

DirtySciFiBuddha2 Comments

Idiot demon-jocks, tons of profanity, copious psychedelics, and an airborne kiss at 300 mph, hanging from the back of a mushroom-shaped mecha!  All this and more in my comedy/horror/sci-fi absurdical, Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Check it out here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl

Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor.  Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited 

Today is the LAST day that Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl is FREE on Kindle!

DirtySciFiBuddha4 Comments

Today is the LAST day Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl is FREE on Kindle! This is by far the zaniest of all my books! If you want to dip your toe into a comedy/horror/sci-fi/teen-genius tale with copious amounts of psychedelics and a 300 mph kiss hanging from the back of a mushroom-shaped mecha, then give it a read! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Get A Door into Evermoor here:  A Door into Evermoor  Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization! 😀😀😁

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the book links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to that book’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, and zany ads WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!   😲💪 😜

Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl is FREE on Kindle for today and tomorrow!

DirtySciFiBuddhaLeave a comment

Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl is FREE on Kindle for today and tomorrow (through April 5)! This is by far the zaniest of all my books! If you want to dip your toe into a comedy/horror/sci-fi/teen-genius tale with copious amounts of psychedelics and a 300 mph kiss hanging from the back of a mushroom-shaped mecha, then give it a read! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Get A Door into Evermoor here:  A Door into Evermoor  Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization! 😀😀😁

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the book links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to that book’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, and zany ads WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!   😲💪 😜

Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl is FREE on Kindle for three days!

DirtySciFiBuddha2 Comments

Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl is FREE on Kindle for three days (through April 5)! This is by far the zaniest of all my books! If you want to dip your toe into a comedy/horror/sci-fi/teen-genius tale with copious amounts of psychedelics and a 300 mph kiss hanging from the back of a mushroom-shaped mecha, then give it a read! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Get A Door into Evermoor here:  A Door into Evermoor  Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization! 😀😀😁

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the book links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to that book’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, and zany ads WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!   😲💪 😜

Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl is FREE on Kindle for four days!

DirtySciFiBuddha4 Comments

Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl is FREE on Kindle for four days (through April 5)! This is by far the zaniest of all my books! If you want to dip your toe into a comedy/horror/sci-fi/teen-genius tale with copious amounts of psychedelics and a 300 mph kiss hanging from the back of a mushroom-shaped mecha, then give it a read! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

Get A Door into Evermoor here:  A Door into Evermoor  Get Weapons of Old here:  Weapons of Old Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1   Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization! 😀😀😁

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the book links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to that book’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, and zany ads WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!   😲💪 😜