Please buy and review Kor’Thank and Echo!

Hey guys!  You know when someone’s tickling your b-hole with the tip of their pinkie and you’re acting all innocent, then they suddenly go three knuckles deep, four fingers wide and you burst into an angelic song that quickly transforms into a demon-voiced roar of full-throated pleasure because you’re gasming so hard that you’re gonna need a mop after you’re—

JUST KIDDING!  That is DISGUSTING—I would NEVER do that!  Not only do I drive two miles under the speed limit, I only watch shows with a TV-G rating!  Geez—that was just a test!  Get your mind out of the gutter!

But now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my books and my podcast!  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  And if you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And if you simply want to hear me run my suckhole about all things upon the Earth and possibly within my pants, then check out my podcast Strained Brains!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!

Hope y’all have an Awesome Sauce Tuesday!

(And if you failed the test, may God have mercy on your twisted soul.  Pervert.)

🙂 🙂 😀

 

Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Thank you, Recent Kor’Thank Purchasers!

Skib Skab SkerNoob!  I see a few more peeps have bought my zany sci-fi teen absurdical, Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  Thank you lots, my fellow consciousnesses-bound-to-a-meat-body-that’s-hurtling-through-space-on-a-lava-cored-dirt-sphere!

I threw a buncha teen tropes into this one–horror-movie monsters, body-mind switcheroos, prom-night insanity–along with a bunch of stuff that’s pure Kent Wayne!  Psychedelics, mushroom-shaped mechas, velociraptor-riding barbarians, and (of course) tons of profanity!  Enjoy!

Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

The Prologue for the Unbound Realm is UP!

Check out the prologue for book 1 of the Unbound Realm, my work-in-process YA fantasy series!  Here’s the link:  Prologue for the Unbound Realm

Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

[Outer God Kent] Nyarlathotep telepathically projects to me.  [You haven’t driven enough mortals insane, and your tentacle game is looking a little weak.]

[What the fuck are you talking about?] I project back.  [I’ve drawn billions into the Infinite Abyss, then drunk their souls with my astral proboscis.  Maybe you should spend a little less time fisting your monstrous holes and a little more time doing your job.]

[The jig is up, Kent.  We know you haven’t done your job for several eons.  Instead, you’ve been writing stoopid-ass science fiction and incarnating as a super-hot dude who seduces Soccer Moms with his unbelievably beautiful pork sword.]

Shit.  They’re on to me.  FUCK these assholes!  Always gibbering about the Great Rending, or the Ruining of Worlds.  I wanna have SEX, goddammit!  And who cares if I like writing about robo-suits and gatling lasers—I’m an artisté, bitch!

So I open my mind to Echo, activating the sci-fi epic’s reality distortion powers.  Magic flash.

[Oh no.  NO.  This will not do at ALL!]  A stern, sexy voice echoes throughout the aether.

Oh shit—it’s Soccer Mom Prime!

[I was just kidding, Soccer Mom Prime!]  The dark god Nyarlathotep projects a nervous laugh.  [I would never cross minds with you—you’re far too strong!]

[Damn straight I am!] she thunders.  [And no one—I mean NO ONE—is gonna deprive me of the sweet dicking down that only Kent Wayne and his upcurved wiener are solely capable of!  Now fuck off back to the Deep!]

As Nyarlathotep seeps back into Void, Soccer Mom Prime beckons me over with her mind.

[Let’s go, Man Whore.  I didn’t go astral so I could sit around and wait for multiversal heat death.  Get yer pants off and let’s get to boffing!]

Can’t argue with that!

😀

*70s porn music*

 

 

Are you a former Lurker of the Cosmos who wants to quit all the Doom and Wrath bullshit and get your genitals wet?  Never fear!  Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Thank You, Recent Kor’Thank Purchasers!!!

BerKoom!  The first copies of Kor’Thank go flying off the digital shelves!  To whoever bought em, I say Thank You Muchly!!!

Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Check out my podcast: Strained Brains!

GerThoogenBoogers!  Check out my podcast:  Strained Brains!  I interview my best buddies, alternative medicine practitioners, military “elite,” a massage therapist who grew up in the third world and started a thriving business in America, along with a whole lot more!  Give it a listen by following the links on this page: Strained Brains Podcast.

Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Musings

Creativity is the mental lever which turns problems into opportunities.  Or it can be a giant anchor; it can be used to find futility in every circumstance.

Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  If you wanna hear me babble on about anything and everything, and strain my FREAKIN’ BRAIN, then here’s a link to my podcast:  Strained Brains!  It is on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play!  Please give it a listen and a five-star review!  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀