I should keep writing, but my browser is flashing with a link that says MAKE YOUR DICK SMELL BETTER WITH THIS ONE SIMPLE TRICK!

Yep, you’re right—I can’t resist.

As soon as I click it, Elon and Bezos hijack my screen.  They cackle and guffaw with micro-dick-powered glee.

“Thanks for revealing your physical location—our precision-guided dildroids are homing in on your butthole!” Elon brays.

“We wanted to see your expression, just before you realize your ass will gape wider than an opera singer at the dentist!” Bezos crows.  “Oh and by the way…”

“They’re all set to PAINAL.”

“ ‘Painal?’ ”  I shoot up from my desk.  “What the hell is THAT?”

On second thought, I’d rather not know.  Because I’m looking out my window, and I can see the dildroids closing in on my condo.  They’re super girthy cocks, fitted with an assortment of torture-ready glans.  I’m talking fists, incisors, and a dickhead made out of twisty coat hangers. 

Fuck it.  No options left.  So I open my eReader to a Kent Wayne novel, activating its mind-bending reality distortion powers.  Magic flash. 

A line of Karens appears in the air.  I turn away to keep my eyes from exploding, but the dildroids aren’t as lucky.  Before I avert my agonized gaze, I catch a glimpse of them spasming and vomiting and disintegrating into clouds of blood-soaked fragments.  Seems like AI-powered cocks can’t hold a candle to those manager-seeking smeg-pellets!

Kent Wayne wins again!  HEH heh heh!

😀

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