What the death-clench is happening, all you poop-filled folks who are running for the bathroom like a guy who’s got the ball and he’s down to mere seconds in a Superbowl tie, then your boss’s boss’s boss’s boss accosts you in the hallway and starts yakking your ear off about how good you’ve been doing and you have to stand there and take it because he’s got your career in his hands and he’s one position shy of you having to call him Milord, tears of blood leak from your eyes as your butthole starts whispering, urging you to find a hole or a bucket or fucking anything to contain the burgeoning wave of evil rumbling in your colon, this man keeps talking fuck he won’t stop, your sphincter dilates in horror-movie slow motion and trumpets a glass-shattering bass note that would make Gimli’s horn-blowing seem like a kitten’s meow, walls crumble and disintegrate into fragments, flesh rips off skulls and skeletons vanish into ash, fighter pilots close their eyes and whisper a solemn prayer before uttering “Fox 3” and unleashing their missiles on you in a desperate effort to stop you from annihilating the city, Cthulu rips through the storm-torn sky, reveling in the flood of death and mutila—
And THAT my friends, is why you don’t hold it in! Save yourself the pain of having to walk around in a perpetual cold sweat, features all tight and grim like you’re in a telekinetic battle, and go and take a preemptive shit! Jesus, it isn’t rocket science!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing
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