What the breakup-fart is happening, all you folks who obey and abide by the Unspoken Laws of Civilization, yet despite your best efforts a giant beefer escapes your anus in an ascending elevator, there’s only one other dude in there and as you lock eyes with him there’s no question he knows he FUCKING KNOWS you farted so you judo-throw him to the ground, take his back, and apply a rear naked choke as he claws at your arm and tears of regret flow down your cheeks and you whisper “I’m sorry…God, I’m sorry…go to sleep, shhh…shhh…”
And THAT, my friends, is why you always carry a chloroformed hanky, so you don’t have to kill anyone who’s unlucky enough to catch a whiff of your ass! Put em to sleep BEFORE your spider-esque orifice starts barking up a storm, you crude, unconscionable heathen!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #WritingCommunity
🙂 🙂 😀
Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha 
Chloroform is the answer to all life’s problems. I used to sedate myself in class to avoid math.
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Haha! Math sedated me all on its own, but if I had been into psychedelics back then, I probably would have tripped in class! 🤣
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Great fart vocabulary. Taking it to the next level confronting who laid the cable that blew out the bus station restroom would be another classic!
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Very true, getting any reviews is a real boon when you’re an indie
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Absolutely!
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whiff of repetition are you sure you are not lactose intollerant! with an obsession for all things dairy! i hate cows (highlands aside!) i like dragons, wolves and vamps! or hybrids! ninja’s are alright but they tend to slit your thoat in your sleep! no fear…i do it to sibling levels by pre-med masters !😈
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How about sausage? I’ve got plenty of pork! 🤣
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Cheek, pork, sausage, i am on good terms with my butcher! i enjoy a good bit of fresh meat! 😈 just need marinating in sauce! i am very sweet a few hours and you would taste perfect!
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Marinating might get a little messy! 🤣
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thats if i do not use the tarp for cleaning one naughty little Buddah! duck tape, bone saw…..yes i think we got it! industrial wheelie bin bags! lol 😈 good job your agile….might just get awy with convincing me you are good enough to be part of the layers that survive the official judicial cull! i suggest silence nd alot of cheek and tongue!
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I suggest a lot more tongue than cheek! 🤣
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your busy notching you dicktionary! i been day dreaming of lotus for weeks, one day someone will break in and give me what i need! it hapened last week….for queen and country! service…well if you failed to layer in! i bet you are and i am partial to designer items, alot of my family swear by them, i got a Dior jumper for the price of a set of acrylic nails….so chuffed and i did not get delivered…anyway back to your calvins making a brief appearance in our evening! As would the beginning credits of the film…who would all be paused watching us get it on! My family love a good explicit film… a member of the cast may even faint! lol
😈
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