Give my books a read and a review!

What the breakup-fart is happening, all you folks who obey and abide by the Unspoken Laws of Civilization, yet despite your best efforts a giant beefer escapes your anus in an ascending elevator, there’s only one other dude in there and as you lock eyes with him there’s no question he knows he FUCKING KNOWS you farted so you judo-throw him to the ground, take his back, and apply a rear naked choke as he claws at your arm and tears of regret flow down your cheeks and you whisper “I’m sorry…God, I’m sorry…go to sleep, shhh…shhh…” 

And THAT, my friends, is why you always carry a chloroformed hanky, so you don’t have to kill anyone who’s unlucky enough to catch a whiff of your ass!  Put em to sleep BEFORE your spider-esque orifice starts barking up a storm, you crude, unconscionable heathen!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy:  A Door into Evermoor.  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #WritingCommunity

🙂 🙂 😀

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