What the long balls is going on, all my fellow fogies whose pride has turned to horror as your nuts grow into hangers but now they’re past your goddamn knees and you have to tie ’em around your waist so zoomy little dogs don’t run up and bop em like a miniature speedbag, or start chomping the ends and playing a vicious game of tuggernuts with your beleaguered nargberries, eliciting tears and desperation as you grab hold of your scrote and try to pull it away from those tiny fucking monsters—
And THAT, my friends, is why you gotta start wearing some nut-hugging briefs! You need that lift and support, goddammit, like a bra for your ballbag! It’s all well and good to grow ’em into an impressive set of clit-hammers (when you’re hitting it from the back) but you can’t leave ’em vulnerable to chihuahuas and yorkies! Jesus Christ, man!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #WritingCommunity
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