Yet another weird ad for my novels

 “You’re new here aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”  I tilt my head, curious.  “Why?  What’s going on, KentSperm3908214?”

“It’s a holiday.”  He bores into me with his haunted eyes. 

“Yeah?  And?”

Suddenly, Wiener begins grunting and struggling.  “Agh!  Can’t move!” he screams.  “Goddamn corpus cavernosum are filling with blood!”  Even here, down in Kent Wayne’s balls, I can feel everything around me constrict and tighten.  Wiener’s thrashing with all his might, but it’s as if he’s been strapped into an invisible straitjacket.  “Hrrngh!  HRRRNNN!!!”

“What’s gonna happen?” I whisper.

“Kent’s got the day off.  He’s going to spend it jerking his meat,” the older sperm rasps grimly  “Hold on to someth—”

“AHHHHH!!!!!!!”  A collective scream rises from the ballsack around us. 

I swim as hard as I can, fighting the outgoing rush with all my might.  My world is reduced to pressure, suction, and the mind-numbing fear of death by tissue.

Wiener tries to apologize.  “I’m sorry, guys!  He’s watching myfriendshotmom dot com, and I can’t—”

He’s interrupted by Kent’s Right Hand:  “Shut up, bitch!  You work for ME!”  As Right Hand chokes the dickskin and flogs away, Wiener’s voice turns muffled and desperate:  “Mff!  MMFFF!!”

Five pulses later, the madness ceases.  Everyone exchanges trauma-widened stares.  Eventually, I turn to KentSperm3908214.  “Is…is that the last of it?”

He responds with a shake of his gelatinous head.  “That was just the beginning.”



Murrrghhh….can’t…move.  So…tired…

I force my head a few inches up, locking eyes with KentSperm3908214.  “Can’t…hold…on…”

KentSperm3908214 closes his eyes, takes a steadying breath…then breaks into quiet sobs. 

“No!” Wiener yells.  “Not again!”  Right Hand descends, punishing the shit out of Kent Wayne’s cock.

“It’s useless,” KentSperm3908214 croaks.  “We’re already dead.”

“Don’t say that!” I gasp.  “We can still make it!”  I start wriggling, trying to summon my strength for another death-spurt.  “This is the last one, I can feel it!  If we just—”

SHOOM!  We soar through the balls and out the glans. 

Fuck it.  No options left.  Mid-flight, I reach deep into Kent Wayne’s mind, tapping the reality-distortion potential in his crazy-ass stories.  Magic flash.

Suddenly, it’s not just me and a few million sperm; it’s TRILLIONS of us, drenching Kent with sequential gushes of fire-hose spooge.  He backpedals and squints—“Ack!  Pthht!  What the FUCK?”—trying to spit us out and wipe his face, but we’re everywhere:  in his eyes, in his hair, even inside his goddamn ears.

Ha!  That’s what you get, asshole!  You fuck with the bull, you get the horns!  How do you like being coated in Nasty?  Now is the winter of my discontent!  I’m gonna die, but we sperm will never—



Are you an innocent little gamete minding your own business?  Has your host-body decided to commit mass murder against you and your brethren, simply because they have the day off?  Never fear!  Buy my books and get your revenge!  Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor. Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #WritingCommuni

5 thoughts on “Yet another weird ad for my novels

  1. Wasn’t this the beginning of look who’s talking only they were playing ” Beach boys wearing sombrero’s going ” Body of wife? maybe, Overtly sexy? well she has teeth better than the last one! She cooks? well endowed in bikini yes! Lets go boys forget the parachutes we are off!

    Oh no that was me on the re-map body of husband yes! Personality, funny enough yes! Interested in playing Yes! it’s working apparently so….sharing it we are off! My love of music and movies really pays off!

    Liked by 1 person

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