“You’re new here aren’t you?”
“Yeah.” I tilt my head, curious. “Why? What’s going on, KentSperm3908214?”
“It’s a holiday.” He bores into me with his haunted eyes.
Suddenly, Wiener begins grunting and struggling. “Agh! Can’t move!” he screams. “Goddamn corpus cavernosum are filling with blood!” Even here, down in Kent Wayne’s balls, I can feel everything around me constrict and tighten. Wiener’s thrashing with all his might, but it’s as if he’s been strapped into an invisible straitjacket. “Hrrngh! HRRRNNN!!!”
“What’s gonna happen?” I whisper.
“Kent’s got the day off. He’s going to spend it jerking his meat,” the older sperm rasps grimly “Hold on to someth—”
“AHHHHH!!!!!!!” A collective scream rises from the ballsack around us.
I swim as hard as I can, fighting the outgoing rush with all my might. My world is reduced to pressure, suction, and the mind-numbing fear of death by tissue.
Wiener tries to apologize. “I’m sorry, guys! He’s watching myfriendshotmom dot com, and I can’t—”
He’s interrupted by Kent’s Right Hand: “Shut up, bitch! You work for ME!” As Right Hand chokes the dickskin and flogs away, Wiener’s voice turns muffled and desperate: “Mff! MMFFF!!”
Five pulses later, the madness ceases. Everyone exchanges trauma-widened stares. Eventually, I turn to KentSperm3908214. “Is…is that the last of it?”
He responds with a shake of his gelatinous head. “That was just the beginning.”
NINE JERK-SESSIONS LATER…
I force my head a few inches up, locking eyes with KentSperm3908214. “Can’t…hold…on…”
KentSperm3908214 closes his eyes, takes a steadying breath…then breaks into quiet sobs.
“No!” Wiener yells. “Not again!” Right Hand descends, punishing the shit out of Kent Wayne’s cock.
“It’s useless,” KentSperm3908214 croaks. “We’re already dead.”
“Don’t say that!” I gasp. “We can still make it!” I start wriggling, trying to summon my strength for another death-spurt. “This is the last one, I can feel it! If we just—”
SHOOM! We soar through the balls and out the glans.
Fuck it. No options left. Mid-flight, I reach deep into Kent Wayne’s mind, tapping the reality-distortion potential in his crazy-ass stories. Magic flash.
Suddenly, it’s not just me and a few million sperm; it’s TRILLIONS of us, drenching Kent with sequential gushes of fire-hose spooge. He backpedals and squints—“Ack! Pthht! What the FUCK?”—trying to spit us out and wipe his face, but we’re everywhere: in his eyes, in his hair, even inside his goddamn ears.
Ha! That’s what you get, asshole! You fuck with the bull, you get the horns! How do you like being coated in Nasty? Now is the winter of my discontent! I’m gonna die, but we sperm will never—
Are you an innocent little gamete minding your own business? Has your host-body decided to commit mass murder against you and your brethren, simply because they have the day off? Never fear! Buy my books and get your revenge! Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor. Get Kor’Thank here: Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Vol.4 on Kindle here: Vol. 4 on Kindle Echo Omnibus here: Echo Omnibus Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition Musings, Volume 1 is available here: Musings, Volume 1 Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human: Optimization!
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5 thoughts on “Yet another weird ad for my novels”
Lol, that’s one messed up ad. Keep advertising, it’s always interesting to read.
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Will do! 😅
Always bizarrely entertaining for sure… 😀
Aren’t you worried about scaring off the new YA audience though?
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Nah. I’m small time, so I can do as I please until Spielberg notices me. 😅
Wasn’t this the beginning of look who’s talking only they were playing ” Beach boys wearing sombrero’s going ” Body of wife? maybe, Overtly sexy? well she has teeth better than the last one! She cooks? well endowed in bikini yes! Lets go boys forget the parachutes we are off!
Oh no that was me on the re-map body of husband yes! Personality, funny enough yes! Interested in playing Yes! it’s working apparently so….sharing it we are off! My love of music and movies really pays off!
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