What the Jaws-themed blowjay is going on, all you bonered-up suck-victims who are transfixed by your partner as they bob up and down and hum DA-dum, sending a thrill of fear racing up your spine before they do it again—DA-dum—holy fuck what is happening right now, DA-dum DA-dum dadumdadumDAAAAAA, now you can’t watch a shark movie without getting hard but you also can’t get a beej without trembling in sheer, unadulterated terror—
Dump their ass, NOW! What kind of monster hums the goddamn Jaws theme while giving you a beej???
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #WritingCommunity
🙂 🙂 😀