What the beast-hole is going on, all you sexual adventurers who’ve decided to enter into this dark, new-fangled universe of licking your partner’s butt, but now you’re staring right into its depths questioning your life choices and goddammit they fucked up shaving, left a few scraggles so you say hold on a sec, grab a magic marker, then draw an evil hairy spider with their anus as the torso, cap it off with a bunch of glaring red eyes to which they scream WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING—

Hey hey HEY!  Just because your partner isn’t good with a razor, that does NOT mean you can draw an arachnid on their butthole!  Save that shit for passed-out frat-bros!

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy:  A Door into Evermoor.  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #WritingCommunity

🙂 🙂 😀