Yet another weird ad for my novels

Eat some shrooms, beat my meat while enjoying the psychedelic buzz, then watch a little Adventure Time before I snooze.  Man, could life get any better?

Zzz…

ZZZZZ….

BANG!

Huh?  Whatzis? 

I bolt up in my futon as Batman storms into my condo, ripping down my Star Wars posters and stomping on my next-gen flesh-light. 

“HEY!” I yell.  “WHAT THE FUCK???”

“I did it, Kent!”  He marches up to me, grabs me by the neck, and shoves me up against the wall.  “They fucking LOVE me now!”

I clutch his gauntleted fingers, struggling to form words.  “You’re still…a hundred-year old…pedo…vampire…”

“FUCK YOU!”  He squeezes harder, causing me to gag.  Black walls form on the edge of my sight, closing in with inevitable certainty. 

This it—in another second, I’m gonna pass out.

Fuck it.  No options left.  So I open my eReader to a Kent Wayne book, activating its unmatchable reality-distortion powers.  Magic flash.

Batman stumbles back, blinded by the burst of multicolored light.  “What the fuck?” he sputters.  “What did you—”

I reach into my pants, grab some goo off my nuts, and smear it across his half-exposed face.  “SMEGMA SURPRISE, BITCH!”

“AHGODNO!”  He fumbles with his cowl.  “MY SKIN IS MELTING, AND I’M…PREGNANT?”

“ ’s what you get, dickbag.” I cross my arms and boom out laughter.  “Kent Wayne’s smegma is nothing to laugh at.  Go get you some reconstructive surgery, and maybe learn some Lamaze for when my unholy child claws its way out of your death-ravaged anus.”

As Batman runs out the door, swearing he’ll be back, I follow him outside and give him the double middle-finger.

Kent Wayne wins again!  HEH heh heh!

😀

 

Has a roided-out, pedo-vampire Batman broken into your home, intent on punishing you for all those snide remarks you made before he killed it in the newest movie?  Never fear!  Get A Door into Evermoor here: A Door into Evermoor. Get Kor’Thank here:  Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Vol.4 on Kindle here:  Vol. 4 on Kindle  Echo Omnibus here:  Echo Omnibus  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Musings, Volume 1 is available here:  Musings, Volume 1  Here’s the miscellaneous gear that I use to try and become an uber-human:  Optimization!  🙂 🙂 😀

Hold on!  I just got approved to be an Amazon affiliate!  If you’re going to buy ANY product from Amazon, and you’d like to support my efforts for absolutely free, then simply click on one of the Echo links I’ve provided—they’ll send you to Echo’s Amazon page—and THEN buy whatever product you wish.  Amazon gives me a small referral fee each time this happens!  In this manner you can support my books, musings, podcast, zany ads, or my adventures along the noble path known as The Way of The Man Child WITHOUT spending any more money than you were already going to!  Should you do this, I vow to send you a silent blessing, causing your genitals to adopt the optimum size, shape, smell, and death-ray attachment of choice that paralyzes your enemies with fear and envy!  Entire worlds will bow before your nether parts!  😲💪 😜  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #WritingCommunity

13 thoughts on “Yet another weird ad for my novels

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