What the gray-balls is happening, my fellow meatslingers who chance a look down only to see a bit of scraggly white hair on your aging yambag, which causes you to hyperventilate and stagger through the house in a panicked daze, looking for ball-hair dye no you should trim it anyway holy shit there’s LIVER SPOTS ON YOUR TESTICLES YOU LOOK LIKE METHUSELAH LADIES DON’T EXTEND THEIR SILVER FOX THIRST TO YOUR GODDAMN NOGGERBOGGINS I NEED AN ADULT I NEED AN ADULT—
Whoa whoa WHOA! Easy there, frosty-balls! There’s benefits to having an old-ass pair of well-groomed chin-ticklers! What benefits, you say? Well, now that they hang halfway down to your ancient-as-fuck knees, they can hammer ladies’ clits when you’re hitting it from behind! Calm the fuck down!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!
🙂 🙂 😀