What the demon-gasm is happening, all my fellow fuck-machines who’re smashing away with heretofore unseen vigor, causing your partner’s eyes to roll back in their head as they open wide and let loose with a guttural, bone-chilling howl—RUAAAAAHHH!!!—and now you’re scared as fuck because what if their pupils become blazing red pentagrams and chunks of your room start falling away, only to reveal a sinister hellscape where blood gushes and darkness reigns I need an adult I NEED AN ADULT—
WHAT’RE YOU DOING, BRO??? That’s not how you respond to an overenthusiastic sex-moan! You overenthusiastically sex-moan right back at them! There’s plenty of choices—angry Gollum, T-rex war-cry, Nic Cage rage-scream…Christ, take your pick!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!
🙂 🙂 😀