What the dick-nick is happening, all you penis-groomers who’re about to go on a date and accidentally cut your womb-hammer while shaving it of fuzzies but now you’re in a panic because your date’s gonna notice and they will definitely, DEFINITELY think you’re a dirty fucking birdy what are you gonna say IT’S NOT A TUMAH no that’s Arnold you idiot only one thing you CAN do is commit seppuku before—
Calm the fuck down! Jesus, take it easy and keep it limited to some heavy petting and smoochie smoochies like the undersexed generations of yore and yesteryear, when it wasn’t all choking and fishhooks and buttplay death-fucking!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!
🙂 🙂 😀
Dirty Sci-Fi Buddha 
Smoochie smoochies…now, that’s cute.
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I also like to call sex “relations time” when I’m goofing around. 😅
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😏
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smoochie smoochies… almost as good as snoochie boochies 😀
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A fellow Kevin Smith fan! Never thought I’d ever see him get old…
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I will get the waxing strips and the ice! much safer than blades would not want you to slip and halve my play wand! lol now is it mirror and stirrups or do i need a s&m restraint bed to complete the procedure! would no want you running out with before and after sides! have to get it all clean for my inspection! goggles and gloves ready now were is my …….! running up the spout! tee hee
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I might not be in the mood after waxing. I might need you to rub me down afterwards! 😏
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Thats what the ice is for! i will rub it around the hot spots and cool them down! put on a barrier cream, choose a lazy day and i will nurse you better! lol wait until you are ready avoiding direct friction! 😎😘🌹
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Perfect! Sometimes, my inner thighs get bruised because once the pace accelerates, I pound away pretty hard. I’ll need that ice, and you might need it too! 🤣
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I will lock you in tight, slow your pace; at least the event will be memorable!, both sat in an ice bath, sloshing, melting all over our essentials, ohhhhhhh, you are such a tease! lol my sensory just revved! 😈
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Fine by me–slower pace means more kissing! 😉
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