What the dick-nick is happening, all you penis-groomers who’re about to go on a date and accidentally cut your womb-hammer while shaving it of fuzzies but now you’re in a panic because your date’s gonna notice and they will definitely, DEFINITELY think you’re a dirty fucking birdy what are you gonna say IT’S NOT A TUMAH no that’s Arnold you idiot only one thing you CAN do is commit seppuku before—
Calm the fuck down! Jesus, take it easy and keep it limited to some heavy petting and smoochie smoochies like the undersexed generations of yore and yesteryear, when it wasn’t all choking and fishhooks and buttplay death-fucking!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy: A Door into Evermoor. If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!
🙂 🙂 😀